Humor

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Perpetual? (by Script)
"SEDATE and well-mannered Pasadena even knows how to caution tipsy citizens. We spotted this cocktail lounge sign: 'Patrons, please do not stand...
Fast Thinking (by The Alconaire)
"ON a trip from Ireland to Eire, Pat was stopped at the border line by the customs officer, who asked if he had anything to declare. 'Only a bottle...
Recommended Reading
"How to Mix Drinks and Influence People." Accompanied by "The Sober Dance" no doubt!
Naturally (by L.W.A.)
"OH, I've long considered my number one problem as that first drink," said a newcomer to A.A., "--if you mean the one the morning after."
Something New (by Dubuque Alanews)
"THE latest invention is said to be a beer glass with a magnifying bottom for watching television."
Favorite Drink
A BEGINNER was asked what had been his favorite drink. "Brother," he said, "I didn't have any favorite drink. I'd drink anything that was too thin to...
It's an Idea (by The New York Times)
HOW to live to be 100 years old. Says a 107 year old Londoner, "Every night before going to bed, wash yourself all over with good brandy. Then dress...
Fits, No Doubt? (by Associated Press)
"TWO fishermen at Pittwater hauled in a line and found an octopus on the end. The octopus was cuddling a full bottle of gin."
Canine Carrie Nation (by The New York World Telegram.)
"AT a swank inn where the mere mention of work among the guests has been known to send them screaming into the night, a glamorous lady said that she...
It Is to Wonder (by United Press)
"UNIVERSITY of Idaho library officials were wondering if the person who returned a book after it had been listed as lost for 26 years had gone on the...