Magazine

From the October 2011 magazine.

Days of Wine and Self-Pity

She had to put both addictions down and practice gratitude in order to recover

"Self-pity and wine were my two-fisted tradition."

When I was drinking, everything baffled me. I couldn't understand why other people seemed to know how to live their lives. Their careers fell into place, they dated the "right" person and operated as though they had an inner compass that I was lacking. I had what is referred to as a "high bottom," though I think all bottoms are low, no matter how they may look on the outside.

I had a job, a car and an apartment, but I couldn't sleep through the night and was brought to tears at my job on a weekly basis. I could not sustain relationships with others and kept recreating situations in which I was a victim—which was a great excuse to drink. Self-pity and wine were my two-fisted tradition.

-- Moira

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