Grapevine Online Exclusive

Published March 2011.

Web Exclusive: Learning The Right Balance

A couple discover how to enjoy quality time together after their obligations to others.

Taking the ride together.

In the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, we are told our common AA experiences can be an advantage in relationship building, but also gently admonished that “it is only when boy meets girl on AA campus, and love follows at first sight, that difficulties may develop.” Furthermore, Step Twelve suggests as a spiritual necessity that “prospective partners need to be solid AAs, and long-enough acquainted to know their compatibility at spiritual, mental, and emotional levels is a fact and not wishful thinking.” Recently, I was given the opportunity to test this spiritual axiom.

Over lunch with a friend late this spring, I mentioned that my life, thanks to AA, was going really well and that there was only one piece missing. I told him I wanted to meet a woman who worked the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, was mature, and was capable of forming healthy relationships. Without hesitation, he said, “If that is what you want, you should call Sharon. The two of you are very much alike.” He reminded me that I had seen her once at a meeting. I vaguely remembered, but we had different home groups and our paths didn’t usually cross. I took his advice and asked her to have dinner with me.

-- Anonymous

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