Magazine

From the February 2012 magazine.

The Metamorphosis of a Firefly

Alcohol transformed her into a wild child but AA transformed her into a loving, mature person

As a junior in high school, I started waiting tables and saving for college. After hours of having free food and drinks, I would pour some rum into coke, never measuring. It would transform me from a timid, ashamed, down-beaten girl, to a firefly. I could dance with the town drunk whom I believed I loved. The bartender had to make a frothy, pink sweet-tasting drink for me to learn to like cocktails. At college, I didn't drink except for weekends at the restaurant.

I married a man I met after starting my first job. He had a good position—enough to take care of me and start a family. At restaurants, he taught me to like Manhattans with the big cherry amd also wine. The cocktails and wine calmed me down and made me feel like everything would be ok. Cocktails and wine smoothed my relationship with my mother. Anger toward my husband mellowed to a feeling of love and appreciation. For many years, I used wine to alter my mood.

-- Diane W.

Oceanside, California

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