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I Might Have Missed It All

He and his partner have been sober for many years and now have been blessed with a grandson

It was 1990 and I was feeling sorry for myself. My girlfriend of 19 years had gone to AA to get sober. Her life was getting better; my life seemed to be circling the drain. I did not have any real friends, just the kind of people who hung around me for as long as there was free booze. I had already ruined one marriage and had lost the privilege of raising my daughter. Doctors told me I should cut back or stop altogether. A couple of shrinks tried to help me with my problems; but how could they, when I never told them the truth? I came up with a brilliant plan. I would learn to play the tenor sax. This would give me something to do and get my mind off drinking. The problem was I would drink before, after, and sometimes during lessons.

Three years later, Donna was enjoying the many benefits of AA & Al-Anon. One was that she did not have to put up with a drunk like me, and she told me she was leaving. There would be no more fights about my drinking; no more broken promises of getting sober on my own. This time she meant business, she loved me, but she could not stay and watch me drink myself to death. I was feeling the weight of loneliness that only an alcoholic can understand. Booze had stopped working for me.

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