From the August 2012 magazine.

August 2012: At Wit's End

It’s not brain surgery
Two drunks were sitting at the bar, and one says: “Hey man, I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”

The other guy replies: “I heard that a lobotomy will keep you buzzed for a long, long time.”

The first drunk raises his head and says: “Really? OK bartender, bring me a double lobotomy on the rocks!”

—Tim M., Bunker Hill, Ind.

Handwriting on the floor
An AA member had an “old football injury” that bothered him quite a bit. He...