Deadly Daydreams

When I first came into Alcoholics Anonymous, I was in grave need of a solution to all of my problems because nothing in my life seemed to be going anywhere. I was flat-lining, running on the same circular path, over and over again, and very exhausted and agitated from constantly participating in this vicious cycle. The culprit, I believed, was my inability to maintain relationships, my lack of friends, my mom, and my job, basically anything besides myself. During the final months of my drinking and self destructive behavior, I was just waiting, either to die, for someone else to die, or to win the lotto. I always felt as though some life altering event would knock some sense into me, however, I was sorely mistaken because no matter what the circumstances were I drank.