From the January 2014 magazine.

January 2014: Amber Light

With no TV, no radio, and no cell phone, he turned the power on

When I was first trying to make contact with something or someone who would love me and accept me, I kept running into roadblocks. This was partly due to my lack of acceptance and love for myself, as well as fear of what other people might think of me. I thought I needed to be absolutely right about a Higher Power in order to be accepted and loved in this world, and perhaps happy in the next, should there be a next one.

I was a full-blown alcoholic when I left high school, and for the next six years, until I got sober in 2000, much of my contact with a Higher Power was unconscious. I blotted out God and filled my life with alcohol and sex. I gave up searching for a Higher Power who would love me.

-- Aaron H.

San Francisco, California

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