Magazine

From the January 2014 magazine.

January 2014: Lipstick Before the Promises

I woke up after my last night of drinking in total disgust. At 16, I was spiritually and morally bankrupt. I couldn’t believe my drinking, which was once a fun pastime, had turned into such an obsession. I went to AA only because someone in the program had planted a seed a few months earlier by saying: “It’s not how much you drink or how often you drink, it’s what happens when you drink.” I saw what happens … I lose close friends, my family’s trust, and most of all, my self-respect.

So I walked into that meeting in Ft. Lauderdale and picked up a white chip. I was absolutely hysterical, but found a sense of relief holding that little poker chip between my sweaty palms. Like spooning spinach into a young child’s mouth, I said, “Hi, my name is Cara, and I’m an alcoholic.” I now knew I was, so I dove headfirst into AA. It really was the last house on the block for me.

-- Cara A.

St. Peters, Missouri

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