Grapevine Online Exclusive

Published December 2013.

From Control to Surrender

She couldn't believe that she was actually an alcoholic until the night after her first meeting

Although I didn't start drinking until I was in college, my alcoholic mind was developing from the moment I was born.

That I had an alcoholic mind in my teenage years was evident from the poetry I was writing at the time. It reflected the self-pity and victimization that I felt during those years. I had always felt like an outcast who never fit in or belonged anywhere.

I did try to control it. I was careful to always drink for the "right reasons" and limit myself to two, or quit before I became out of control. Looking back, I can see that I was always irritated when I stopped...

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