Magazine

From the February 2014 magazine.

February 2014: I Hate My Job

Even after 40 years, we can always use a little attitude adjustment

I’m coming up on 40 years sober, one day at a time. Sitting in AA meetings (thank God for that), I often hear newcomers and even people with 10 or 15 years of sobriety say they think about having a drink. I can relate to them because in my first year I, too, struggled to stay sober. Then, in my 10th year, I was going through a divorce that wasn’t supposed to happen to this sober alcoholic, and the compulsion came back with ferocity. I fought it with the same passion and desire for sobriety that I had in my first year. “Don’t drink even if your rear end falls off,” I said. Eventually it faded, and for many years now, the thought of drinking has rarely crossed my mind. But I am still empathetic when I hear that someone is struggling not to pick up. I identify. I was like that once.

But now, sober though I am, life has become vastly more complicated. I’m coming up on retirement (thanks largely to AA), but I still have several more years to go in a job I generally find miserable. I do more than the rest of my work team combined, while I am forced to listen to them telling their sports stories, laughing, and just generally goofing around. Overworked and fuming, I further feed my resentment by talking to myself about how it should all be and how I could set it straight and teach them.

-- Kurt S.

Farmington, Connecticut

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