From the May 2014 magazine.

Pop that Top!

With her sponsor’s help, she opened her past and let it all spew out

As a newcomer, I was frightened at the thought that I was going to have to spill my guts to strangers who told me I was “as sick as my secrets.” I also heard that I couldn’t stay sober unless I did what was called a Fifth Step—asap.

It didn’t seem to register with people who had gotten through that terrible ordeal themselves that I was more than afraid to share my story. So I white-knuckled it for three whole years because I just couldn’t trust people or trust the process. I don’t know how I stayed sober that long. I couldn’t see that people around me were getting better and I was not. After a while, it became harder and harder to go to AA meetings. I felt like a bottle of pop that had been shaken hard. My contents, already under pressure, were going to burst at the first opportunity to “blow.” The people who wanted me to talk had no idea what they were asking for.

-- Becky G.,

Greater Levittown, Pennsylvania

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