Grapevine Online Exclusive

Published May 2014.

Contents Under Pressure

Alcohol seemed to be the solution to the turmoil inside

I always had this feeling of pressure inside of me that made my head feel like it was going to explode. Everything in my life just seemed to increase the pressure. Good things, bad things, and everything in between. I was always looking for a pressure release; I thought it would make everything OK. I just needed a way out.

Growing up, I felt different for a variety of reasons: I was adopted, we had limited financial means in a small, predominantly middle-class, Midwestern town, I grew up without a father, my adoptive mother was single, older and a different race than I and although I didn't know who my parents were or what they looked like, I knew they were of two different racial backgrounds.

-- Jon. W.

White Plains, New York

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