Magazine

From the June 2014 magazine.

Not As Cool As I Thought I Was

It’s been three years now since I drank and landed in prison with a sentence of 15 years to life. “Coming to” in prison is damn hard. I don’t even want to imagine all the extra damage I could’ve caused if I weren’t here.

A lot of mixed emotions have come up as I’ve been working Step Nine with my sponsor. To have to admit to things I’ve done—which I was hoping to never remember—feels like opening an old wound. Some amends are harder to make than others. I’m thinking, for example, about having to write a letter to my kids telling them I wish I had taken them to their favorite country singer’s concert instead of choosing to go out drinking. I missed that opportunity to make a wonderful memory. And how about telling a friend I wish I hadn’t cancelled all those dinners for a new random boyfriend?

-- Anonymous

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