From the July 2014 magazine.

The Prayer I Needed Most

Confused and in trouble with the law, a newcomer recalls what helped him stay

What in the world is wrong with me? Why do I do these things? I’m supposed to be smarter than this. These were the questions I was beating myself with after I got into an accident and received my second DUI. I’d always prided myself on being a respectful, nonviolent, peacemaking person—definitely not a terrorist on the road. I was the most upset I’d ever been with myself. I got depressed. For the first time in my life I felt I needed someone or something to help me understand what to do, what my problem was.

The obvious truth that I was an alcoholic did not even occur to me. I didn’t fit my description of an alcoholic: an outcast with a big red nose who slurred his speech and needed to drink every day. I drank maybe a couple of times a month, only on social occasions, and I never craved alcohol. Sometimes I drank more than I should, but at least to me, everyone else did too. Drinking wasn’t my problem. It had to be something else. Maybe I was dumb, an idiot or just a loser.

-- Anonymous

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