Grapevine Online Exclusive

Published June 2014.

My Pen, Excalibur

When she was ready and willing, her Fourth Step inventory proved much easier to do

Sputter, sputter...stall. No, this isn't about my aging car—it's about my pen, the one I'm using to write my Fourth Step inventory. It all started out smoothly enough, but along the way, it seemed like I hit some nasty frost heaves, and had stalled out.

My Fourth Step journey started on a snowy day in February 2013 when my sponsor gave me the first writing instruction. At first, my pen and I (along with my Higher Power) were motoring right along. As winter wound down, my pace settled into "slow, but steady." Five months later, I had finished writing my resentments—the first of the three sections of the inventory. In July, I began writing the second section—the fear inventory. It was then that I first began to seriously stumble, even after some amazing revelations. My pace became haphazard, and the sputters, more frequent.

-- Carol P.

Clinton, Massachusetts

This is a preview. To view the full article, use the link below to begin a free 7-day trial!

Related Items:

Unexpected Hurdles
Although her mobility was limited, she was able to stay connected and stay sober

Like a Duckling
At his first meeting, he was just about to leave before going in, when someone stopped him

Sharing Hope
She discovered that her correspondence with a prisoner strengthened her own sobriety

From Across the Water
Though living on two different continents, they continued their relationship as sponsor/sponsee