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The Changes in Light

A newcomer recalls the months and seasons of her first year sober

I woke with one of the worst hangovers I had ever had. What happened last night? What are these pills in my pocket? Why do I have a bloody nose? Why is there a police officer's card on my counter?

I got up and showered and went to the welcome back orientation for my winter job. I sat by myself in the back, next to the door in a room full of hundreds of people.

I did not hear much of what was being said. I focused on not vomiting on myself, or screaming out for help. I was terrified that I might have a seizure. I thought it might be possible that I could die.

I went... Login to read more
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