Grapevine Online Exclusive

Published February 2015.

Light and Joy

Her life wasn't such a dark place anymore after she found AA

I sat on my friend's living room floor on a Monday morning, still awake and drunk from the night before. I was in a very dark place and couldn't seem to find the light switch. I felt hopeless and disgusting. In a panic attack, I prayed for God to take me. When nothing happened, I asked him to help me.

I'd spent nearly a decade drinking myself to this place. I began working in restaurants when I was 19 and quickly learned that the party starts when the restaurant closes. I always felt so insecure, but when I was drunk, I could be have fun and feel confident—the person I longed to be. And so the cycle began: work, drink, sunrise, repeat. I did this for eight years; life was a party and it was great. But it didn't last. After getting a DUI and serving some time in jail, I started to think that maybe I should stop or slow down—but found that I couldn't.

-- Jamie G.

East Haven, Connecticut

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