Grapevine Online Exclusive

Giving It a Go

Nothing else had worked so he tried AA

A number of years ago, I passed a personal milestone in my sobriety that gave me a lot of pause for thought. At that time, I'd been sober longer than I had drank. This morning I realized that I'm rapidly coming up on another personal milestone. Very soon, I will have been sober for half of my life.

The reason I describe them as personal milestones go back to my beginning in sobriety. I was an emotional cripple that had absolutely no mechanisms for dealing with life other than by using alcohol to suppress my insecurities and fears. I knew that I was a broken human being and was desperately trying to ensure that no one would ever find out! I ended up in a treatment center courtesy of the Canadian Navy and a moment of personal clarity. It became apparent to all in very short order that I was a problem case and that I needed far more assistance than they could offer. When I left there, after narrowly avoiding being thrown out, they told me I may as well drink again because I didn't have a hope of staying sober anyway. I resented this enormously at the time.

This is a preview. To view the full article, use the link below to begin a free 7-day trial!

Related Items:

With Everything to Lose
Upon a sponsor's suggestion, he made a list of what drinking would take from him

Turning Points
A member reflects upon how his father's death affected him

The Logician
After trying to fix his drinking with his own problem solving abilities, he realized that AA was the answer

One Rainy Day
He hit his bottom and decided he wanted to live, not die

Subscribe