May 2012: A Royal Bottom

Wallowing in gin while watching the funeral of a princess, a dad finally wakes up to his own life

I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news of Princess Diana’s death 15 years ago. I remember it quite well. It was August 31. Just as I had done many times in the past months, and maybe even years, I was coming to in the middle of the night after having passed out the evening before. As the oblivion of the previous hours began to fade, the shakes came upon me. I groped my way through my small, dingy, unlit apartment to find whatever gin, beer or wine was left from the night before.

I found about a third of a gin bottle and took it with me to the bathroom, as I knew it...