Magazine

From the April 2017 magazine.

Power of the pen

They say the pen is mightier than the sword. These words have new meaning for me today. I used to use the sword to slay my enemies and the people or institutions that stood in my way. I was forever coming in conflict with the other actors on the stage. When I first walked into the rooms of AA, I would do anything to anyone who stood between me and my happiness. I tried to force my will on everyone around me. And I couldn’t put my sword down even with a little bit of AA under my belt. When I’d see something unacceptable to me, I’d put on my AA cap, get my God flag and my sword of justice and push everyone away. Like a child, I dressed up my old tactics in a thin AA veil. I was using AA as yet another weapon in my attempt to control.

Today my home group is having big problems again. I just wanted to grab the people I feel are to blame and let my sword of justice do its job. So I hit my knees and prayed; I talked to others and used my mighty pen and did my Steps. As I put down my fears I looked at what I wrote. I’m afraid of losing my friends in the Fellowship, afraid of losing the love and guidance that waits inside my home group.

-- Jeff H.

Sturgeon, Missouri, USA

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