Magazine

From the April 2017 magazine.

86ed

She completely changed the menu. The liquor had to go

My head was buzzing from the quick drink I had snuck from the bar, and now I needed to check the kitchen and make sure the cooks had what they needed for the night. My night cook was someone I had worked with a few times over the years and she was always a joy to be around. That night she looked me in the eyes and said, “You don’t have to live like this.” She caught me off guard, and when I realized what she had said, I started to give her a long list of excuses as to why I drank so much. “You would drink too, if you had the problems I have,” I told her. She giggled and went on about her work.

Three years later, I had become a stay-at-home mom, with nothing but time on my hands and plenty of booze to pass the time. My
oldest daughter had recently married and I was about to become a grandma for the first time. This was an exciting time. But it was also scary. My drinking had escalated to the point where I needed alcohol to start my day; then I would drink until I passed out or ran out of liquor. Most of the time I would not allow myself to run out of alcohol, as I knew I would need some to get going the next day.

-- Debra S.

Fort Worth, Texas, USA

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