Magazine

From the August 2013 magazine.

August 2013: Moving Forward .. Not In

You know two AAs are on a second date when you see the moving van in the driveway

I was sort of in a relationship when I came into AA. I told my sponsor I probably should break up with him since the suggestion was to not date anyone in the first year. She explained to me that the suggestion was to not start dating anyone new. Because the relationship I was in was unhealthy, she said I should just let it slip away. I really wanted to do it my way and tell him, “It’s over! You hurt me and I am done with you.” I would use the very dramatic and victimized fashion that I loved so much. But … I did it her way, and wouldn’t you know, the man just slipped away.

For the rest of my first year of sobriety, I focused on just that—my sobriety. I held it very high and was proud of the little time I had. How could this girl who prayed for death and drank every single night have put together 60 days? I worked the Steps. Some men tried to sneak their way into my inner circle and I simply and politely let them slip away, just as I was taught. I had some male friends. The good ones were not out to harm me; they were simply regulars who frequented my home group or other meetings I attended. They gave me a great gift: knowing how to be friends with a male.

-- Sara G.

Charlotte, North Carolina

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