From the October 2013 magazine.

October 2013: Grab a Mop!

A few days into sobriety, I hit a wall. You know, that my-life-is-a-mess-it-will-never-get-better wall. I was sitting in my home office, staring out the window into the darkness that had suddenly invaded my mind. My married lover lived far away, and he was married! (My best thinking as an active alcoholic.) Suddenly the leftover wine in the refrigerator seemed like the only escape from these awful feelings. But fortunately, at one of my first few meetings I had been given the grace to ask a woman with a lot of time to be my sponsor.

Cop to feeling suicidal or drink it down? In the past, I had no choice. Now, it appeared I did. So I placed a call and woke up my new sponsor—who was none too happy about it—and told her I was going to drink.

-- Keven B.

Los Angeles, California

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