Magazine

From the May 2019 magazine.

My big fat taped-up Big Book

She held on to a copy for dear life...then she realized it was written for her

After nearly two decades of drinking, my life was at its lowest point. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and didn’t want to live that way one more day. That’s when I saw a public service announcement that directed me to our sister program. I was 31. 

Although I was still drinking, the people there suggested that I read the Big Book to better understand my husband, who was an active alcoholic. I paid 25 cents a week to buy that first Big Book (below) on an installment plan. I tucked the book away in the headboard of our bed so my husband wouldn’t see it. Eventually, he found the book. He was furious and tore it up in three pieces. 

-- Nancy K.

Galt, California

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