From the August 2019 magazine.

Maniacal thirst

Drinking, slurring, falling down, blacking out—she was in a hall of mirrors with no way out

I was born into a riddle. Something was terribly wrong in my world, but the solution I would eventually find, alcohol, would nearly kill me. 

I recall when I turned 8 years old thinking, Whoa, I’m getting old. I’m going to die. I can’t imagine making it to 18. And what is death anyway, nothingness? A macabre self-obsession hit me early. I was sure I had tumors somewhere that would lead to my untimely tragic death. Everyone would be sorry for me. 

-- Anne O.

Needham, Massachusetts

This is a preview. To view the full article, use the link below to begin a free 7-day trial!