Magazine

From the February 2011 magazine.

February 2011: To be (or not to be) gay in AA

"I said to God, in all honesty and sincerity, that if he didn’t want me to be gay, then I would change."

When I first came into AA, I was openly gay, and had been for many years. I was troubled, however, by my behavior in relationships. My drinking had created many problems for me. At age 32, I had already been in two long-term relationships that ended badly due to alcohol and drugs (my use and theirs.)

At about five months sober, I was having a bad day. I was feeling restless, irritable and discontent. I was especially unhappy over the state of my relationships and sexuality, and I was feeling different than, and less than, others. I also wanted to stay sober no matter what. Dating and sex revolved around bars and drinking. I knew that if I were to drink, I would not be able to stop again.

-- Mike H.

Seattle, Washington

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