Magazine

February 2011: Under The Ginkgo Tree

"A thought came: Gosh, I couldn’t stand alive against the seasons the way this tree does."

I’d heard no one’s experience on Step Two. I was not reading the Big Book; my sponsor was not taking me through it, either, so I was confused. I didn’t want to believe in God. I was scared to use the word. I felt uncomfortable for those who did, although I had called out to him once or twice when I was in real danger and I was led to safety.

I would lie in bed wondering about what those church people knew that I didn’t, but I was afraid of them, so I wasn’t going to approach them and ask. As a child I went to church a number of times with two of my siblings. We stole the... Login to read more
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