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Going with the Flow

He found a way to take the Third Step without a belief in God

The world is a safer place since I quit drinking. Have you ever met anyone who was too smart for his own good? If ever there was a poor candidate for sobriety and the Fellowship, it was me. What happened was that I had hit my girlfriend over the head with a chair in a blackout – which I came out of just as I was about to hit her again and stopped myself. I was arrested and ended up in a residential treatment program for all the wrong reasons.

As it happened, I had a moment of clarity during a lecture on the family disease. The lecturer said that sometimes the children of alcoholic parents will pretend indifference to or shun contact with the alcoholic because their feelings have been hurt and betrayed so many times. I said to myself, "Well, that would explain Sarah's attitude towards you if you're an alcoholic." Then I said, "If you're an alcoholic that would explain why colleagues who make no more money than you are able to buy new cars, houses, and take vacations to Europe while you're sleeping on a mattress on the floor of a little rented bungalow, driving a car with four different-sized tires, and vacationing in local watering holes." And the whole wall of denial collapsed, and I knew to the core of my being that I was an alcoholic and other drug addict. I swear if you had asked me one second before I would have said no and passed a lie-detector test.

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