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My Girlfriend, My HP

It worked for a while but then his "HP" broke up with him

I came to AA like some of us do. I walked into the rooms with a relationship with a Higher Power. I gave offering every day. I was always willing to do what was asked, though sometimes I put up a fight. I turned my thoughts to that H.P. as soon as I woke up in the morning, and always turned my thoughts to how I could do better tomorrow, as I fell asleep every night. I was always willing to do whatever it took to strengthen our relationship, and to feel like we were as connected as possible. It was the strongest and most important relationship I had, and I relied on it for my sanity, strength, well being, and happiness. However, it wasn't a "Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things." It was my girlfriend.

We lived, dreamt, fought, laughed, and cried together. Other than my—sometimes freezer-chilled, sometimes Arizona-sun-heated—bottle of vodka, she was my best friend. We talked about how we believed we were meant to come back into each others lives after those 10 years, to be together forever. God-inspired even. We talked of how we were going to quit drinking once we were married in a Catholic cathedral and had children. We really only fought when she drank too much anyway, so children were going to make our relationship perfect. It was going to be the relationship all relationships were going to be modeled after.

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