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Redefining Fun

She changed the definition from losing control to living well

I suffer from a little-known disability: I am fun-impaired. This disability developed as a direct result of my alcoholism. Never a thrill-seeker, I always wrestled with what constituted "fun." In my teen years, many of my friends found great delight in jumping out of planes, snow skiing at breakneck speeds, joyriding, and other fast-paced activities. I always felt entitled to my fair share of un and set out to discover just what the wide world had to offer me.

I resisted growing up and always loved the feeling of being carefree. Alcohol was a marvelous enabler for me. From my mid-teen years on, my best experiences involved drinking. By the age of 20, I was a full-blown alcoholic, building my life around drinking. There were, literally, no activities that interested me that did not involve drinking. I drank while I pursued education, employment, marriage, and even child-bearing. Socially, my husband and I steered clear of non-drinkers. Even light drinkers were suspect.

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