A Vague Notion Becomes Plain
She uses tools that cross barriers
Before coming to prison, I had only a vague idea of the impact that my alcoholism was having, not only on me, but also on my family -- especially my six-year-old daughter.
I never stopped to think that at thirteen years old, I was making the wrong choice in running away from home with a thirty-two-year-old man. I loaded my young body with vodka -- not to mention the myriad of
other drugs I found to take away my pain.
A few years later, I only can imagine how my family felt when the police called to tell them that their fifteen-year-old daughter was in crucial need of medical attention. And then, at eighteen, a child
still myself, I gave birth to my daughter. Lucky for her, my family was there when I was not.
I'm now twenty-five and my alcoholism and addiction have brought me to prison -- a forty-month sentence for being a part of something I never should have been a part of. I'm not proud of what I've done,
but I am grateful for the time I’ve had to do here. It saved my life.
Now I see my alcoholism, and how cunning and powerful it is, in a different light. I can see the lost trust, the grief, and pain it has inflicted.
I look forward to every other Thursday night, when I go to an AA meeting. I'm also grateful for the Grapevine that I receive each month. It fills in the time between meetings. I have read experiences and
found myself crying and saying, "I know how that feels" or "I sure do want that!"
When I leave here, I will take with me the tools I need to survive, sober, in the world. With the Fellowship and God to help me along, I can succeed.
Stefanie M., Portland, Oregon
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