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May 1998
Vol. 54 No. 12
The Best ListenersI have bored my sponsor to tears and she has never once complained. She just let me go on and on. Since I myself sponsor several women I've been on both sides of the telephone, hearing the same stories over and over again until the days turn into months and then become years of sharing. This sponsoring business requires patience. To my own dear sponsor I have repeated the trials of my marriage breakup so many times that I bored even myself with it. She never once gave me the feeling that I was annoying her. In my attempt to stay sober, I've confessed my deepest secrets in a Fifth Step to her and admitted my drink signals when they came. She was always available to listen to me anytime I called. I've heard a number of Fifth Steps in my own living room and across my kitchen table -- stories of alcoholism, dependency, shameful past experiences, and enormous pain. "What happens to recovering alcoholics who have no one to talk to this way?" a newcomer asked me one night after a lengthy conversation. For a second I didn't answer her and in that second of silence I believe we both formed our own opinions about what happens. "They probably drink" was all I could say. The process of one alcoholic confiding in another has without a doubt saved my life. Nowhere else have I ever found such devotion and understanding as with AA sponsoring. Who else, other than an AA member, would accept a phone call in the middle of a busy work day to listen to: "I'm sorry to call you at work, but I'm terrified at this moment. I don't think I'll make it through the day without a drink. What should I do?" What is most miraculous in this scenario is the fact that this person had someone to call instead of picking up a drink, and that is how it works. We AAs are the best listeners in the world -- that is, when we're not talking! Linda M., Maspeth, New York |
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