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March 2007
Vol. 63 No. 10
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When a wet drunk shows up at a meeting
A drunk showed up at an AA meeting holding a can of beer, and he was told, unequivocally, that he could not come in. He left, but showed up outside a few days later, yelling that even AA wouldn't let him in.
A member went out to talk to him and calm him down. The police arrived and our member assured them that the man was, indeed, going into the AA meeting.
A number of people at the meeting started whispering, visibly upset that a "wet" one had disrupted the meeting. Again, the drunk left. Outside the meeting, he had a seizure and collapsed. Paramedics were
called.
Someone heard that the man tried to commit suicide. When he was released from the hospital, he showed up at our meeting the same day. This time, he was sullen and reclusive. Not one male member in the room
went over to him. Instead, members talked about their troubled relationships, whether or not to buy a new house, and their job problems. Silently, I got up and went over to the man.
He told me about how sick he was and about the incomprehensible demoralization he felt. He wanted to stop drinking and couldn’t. I got him some water and a cookie and then quietly asked a couple of male AAs to take over. I do not know if the man is sober today, or if he is even alive.
A few days later, I brought up the topic of having a wet drunk at our meeting. Most members felt that the common welfare of the group came before the wet drunk. During the discussion, members said various
disparaging things: "He doesn't want it," and "Meetings need to be about recovery issues, not about some wet one that won't hear anything, anyway." I wondered if a recovery issue was divorce, a lost job, and a
new house, or was it getting someone off booze long enough to find a Higher Power that can solve all those other issues? To me, the primary purpose of Alcoholics Anonymous is helping the still sick and
suffering alcoholic, and not just the cleaned-up-detoxed-and-sober-twenty-eight-days new person that walks through the doors.
When I arrived in the rooms of AA, I was not sober, cleaned up, or detoxed. I had not brushed my teeth in weeks. However, not a single person told me to leave. On the contrary, they welcomed me. Not one
person sat in judgment.
Have some AA meetings become social groups, with membership requiring that you already be sober so that you can have a free therapy session and discuss your issue of the day? My Big Book says I must work with
the still sick and suffering alcoholic if I want to stay sober and live a happy, joyous, and free life.
Today, I may not be popular in my home group because I talk about the Traditions, the responsibilities of sobriety, and welcoming and reaching out to the wet drunk. But I do what was done for me -- I share
my spiritual experience in finding a Higher Power, whether the drunk I'm addressing is coming in for the first time or for the tenth time. For that, I am responsible.
C.G., Crystal Springs, Florida
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