" I have discovered a new way to learn-by shutting my mouth and listening...it is not so much what I am doing as what I am not doing. I am not talking. So I'm open; I'm teachable" My sponsor keeps telling me to "share" to talk at the meetings, but I get a lot more out of the meetings by not talking and listening to what others have to say. I am the student and they are my teachers. Sober 93 days today
"I am the student and they are my teachers. Sober 93 days today".
"WE" first word of the first step. I need to be reminded of what its like to be sober 93 days so I don't go back there after 33 years.
Talk or don't talk, up to you, but that's the deal. Hang in there.
For a long time I used to think why is "that" person here. They still had everything, ,the car the house the wife........then I realised what they had not. No peace of mind, no self belief no hope. Then I understood that this illness has no respect.....
For years we have tried to govern the most important facets of the members. We have imposed the group a huge number of rules, controlling as it ought to serve coffee. All group members disclose to us so many rules, in many cases unnecessary, incumpliendolas almost all from the time be approved.
Many members realized, based on deception, we can not, must not, control the lives of others. After many years we realized that all we can do is share our experience and that this can serve as a guide.
In the group we realized that the rules should be the minimum in order to make the group's activities. A huge amount of rules and unnecessary, may hinder or impede the functioning of the group.
I awoke at 5:00am and got up to write some stuff about recognizing why I'm fighting with my boyfriend so much. A lot of it seems to be my mouth exploding into action before my heart has responded to what he is really saying. I had just singed off to get some sleep, and checked the email. The grapevine quote of the day just arrived, complete with my hp's advice on this exact subject. Thanks.
As a 31 year sober member of AA and a 62 year old male,my experience tells me
better than any other learning tool that,if I remember what not only saved my life,
but gave me a life worth living,that continuing to practice these principles in
all my affairs will provide those new to our fellowship and those who may be still
struggling with some of lifes challenges that the program still has the answers to
any problem we might run into. Thanks Ray S
At age 74 and 27 years sober (one day at a time), I like to say that we never run out of material with this program. There is always something that comes up reminding me to apply principles of the program.
My sponsor recently helped me understand the term "working the steps." A speaker last summer provoked us with the idea that we don't work the steps, we take them. When asked about this, my sponsor said "We take the steps at least once, we use them for the rest of our lives." What a concept!
Thanks for the reminder Frank; I spent nearly 30 years doing it my way. I pray I will continue learning to use the steps daily and to practice the AA principles in all my affairs. On the road to Minnesota, Nelsie
This once intolerant,closed minded,"prejudger" of many things & active alcoholic,has been surgically altered by the steps and traditions and Big Book and Sponsors and many meeting through the years..
She never gave up her love of run-on sentences though.
That above lady who walked through the A.A. doors then; now is fighting for increased open mindedness and tolerance.and improving Her conscious contact with her higher-power.
I'm reviewing for myself, once again, that all human people and churches and other organizations aren't perfect.
It seems all start out with honorable intentions. Yet often lose their initial honorable intent.Like losing focus, dipping into greed,forgetting our empathy towards ones fellows etc.
Negative complaining and no action toward correction is what I did before A.A principles cut into my life.After change happened.Sobriety happened.
# 1 I don't want to just whine and gripe. I see it's mute to do so None of us benefit.I want to figure out further how to be part of solutions, not help carry on the problems by inactions.
#2 I believe now, we are all on one journey to get back to where we started out from.Simple.When I arrived at A.A.'s doors initially this was all a foreign language I hadn't studied yet.
I learned.I relearned.I opened my mind,kept my mouth shut much more and became privileged to keep learning sane healthy stuff instead of dying as I was from my addictions.
c.k. 3/13 Me.
Big change, really big ongoing change.Daily persuance.
coll.kenn.Me. [ :
YES !we've got 25 things right.Right off the bat.
12 Steps. Twelve Traditions.And unconditional love for new and old and slippers and those that hang in twenty-four hours a day for years in a row some how.
Fantasticallyfabuloucious bunch ,we are.Thank You.A.A.
yes. i understand that & i am willing to do the work on that
I need it,I want it,and am going to any length to get it.I got it today.
There is no easier softer way.I tried.It does not exist !
Love to all who came B 4. R here now.And to those who will come.
I like the quote about AA not for those that want it and even not for those that need it, but for those that work for it. I never hear the last part in meetings. All I know is that with 24 years in the Program, I have to work harder in case I forget "how it was".
Share my daily quote with my sponsees to help keep them centered and working the program. It centers me and helps me stay sober in the process. We all then discuss at a later time. Anonymous, Fremont, CA
I can tell if I have enough willingness because if I don't there's no action. If I do have willingness the action is sure to follow, no matter how difficult or easy it may turn out to be. If I need to, I ask HP for the willingness to be willing and it's always come to me. I pray for the willingness to let go of another addiction today, so that I can take action to stop it. Willingness is and always has been the key to the door that unlocks faith. Robbie R. 5/22/1981.
I was moved by this. I came into recovery in 1982 and relapsed after a year and have been sober ever since january 1, 1984. The gift is that my brain was not so damaged that i could function somewhat in the world I have been on disability since 1995 but can still function thanks to being sober and also lead a somewhat happy life.
ive been to an out patient program as well as a relapse pervention groups and have also worked aa for a year and a half and will be sober from drugs for two years at the end of may and two years of no alcohol in mid july...i havent been to any meetings as of late..
thanks for letting me share
I really enjoy this daily quotation:"Willingness and action"although ,to me,it is redundant.It's an action program-pure and simple.I'm an alcoholic who has a lot of trouble being honest with myself.There are many more of us in AA than we like to admit.So the only way I truly know if I'm willing is if I do it.I was searching for a newcomer one night at a beginner's meeting when I heard a white chipper exclaim:"This isn't for people who want it,it's for people who do it!"I could have kissed that ugly,stinking drunk!....wcfrank
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who
want to stop drinking. (it). A lot of people in and out of
A.A. think that a alcoholic can be seated at a table with
a steps worksheet, given instructions/directions by an
advisor or sponsor and this will get them sober. Billions of dollars
are spent every year on this theory. They are most often
no more successful than no treatment at all.
But when the patient drinks again, they blame the patient,
saying they were just not honest, or any number of excuses.
The obvious truth is that the Program did not work. It
may seem that a few are helped. But those few probably
would have gotten sober without treatment.
You have pointed out another reason for the failure
of today's A.A. We have passed on way too much of the
real responsibility of A.A. to white chippers. ANONYMOUS
Your right. Nothing on this earth will work for a typical alcoholic who doesn’t want to recover from alcoholism. That’s why most alcoholics are doomed to an alcoholic death, jails, or asylums.
What about an alcoholic who has a desire to stop drinking? This alcoholic can be led to the 12 steps of AA and can find a happy, sober life as a result of those 12 actions. This is not my theory, this is a fact from my experience. Every single alcoholic I have met that has a desire to stop drinking and is willing to go to any lengths for sobriety has the willingness to practice AA’s twelve steps and has remained sober. The alcoholics that I have first hand knowledge of who I have seen slip or die from alcoholism over the years may have had a desire to stop drinking, but were unwilling to apply the 12 steps of AA to their lives. Like I said earlier, these are facts from my personal experience in AA over the years, not theory.
When I get to AA nobody asked me my financial situation, work or family. The only question I was asked was if I wanted to stop drinking, all I should do to a newcomer. When I get to AA was no problem that I was a transvestite or was Catholic. I was a member of the group from the moment you arrive and expressed my desire to stop drinking. I do not want to take the opportunity to stop drinking to anyone who wants to stop drinking, even to those who may be troubled, nor took away my chance to recover.
My name is Magdalena. I am a recovering alcoholic addict in San Francisco and I am actually bisexual and involved with Living Sober conference. Also it does not matter how much time you have I am finding out more and more. I have 29 yeara fo sobriety and I still am an alcoholic with a strong alcoholic personality. I am grateful to be in aa.
may god bless your sobriety and mine.
Really appreciate this quote.Even better than calling it"brain chatter".We alcoholics torture ourselves into picking up a drink with all kinds of "stinking thinking".I try to ignore "that guy" because "that guy" has done nothing but screw-up my life all my life.I try to use open-mindedness(the most neglected principle in AA).Hey,maybe I'm wrong.
When I get to AA, did not stop my income, my finances, my studies and my social status. Nobody asked me my religious views, even fewer policies; they only asked if I wanted to stop drinking, all that should the newcomer. I do not want to reject any candidate for membership in Alcoholics Anonymous, and neither did me. After knowing the worst bars in Gijón, I should not get decent and despise the newcomer, surely I did the same thing or worse.
I need the newcomer more than he needs me, but the newcomer would not have new experiences, and new servers, or anyone remind us who we are and where we come from.
Anyone who wants to join an AA group may do so, provided that as a group they have no other affiliation. I do not want to prevent anyone form an AA group actually formed a few years ago two in Gijón, where anyone can come and ask for help to be well received.
I shared with my group my immediate thought, "An open mind flows both ways. 'Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas...'"
I'm also grateful to be reminded that I am not a butterfly!
The butterfly net refers to the once popular image of men in white coats from the insane asylum chasing down and capturing the lunatic (for his own good).Many of us have said:"They were getting ready to throw a net over me when I came to AA."...When I told my sponsor of the distress from the voices in my head:brain chatter,he told me to ignore those lunatics and focus on the action program.Don't drink,Go to meetings,Read the Big Book(or other literature like the Grapevine),Say your prayers(or meditate),and Talk to your sponsor(or another alcoholic).I never met an alcoholic who could think himself sober.
This is an allusion to men in white coats chasing a lunatic for involuntary hospitalization.We used to say:"They were getting ready to throw a net over me when I came in to AA".In fact,after 20 white chips,I decided I'd try the desperate experiment of putting the 1st.step in my own words.This is what I came up with:"I admit I can't stop drinking and I'm crazy as an outhouse rodent."(To use polite language). Helped me a lot,still helps...wcfrank
What if I am still a "binge thinker". How does one work on eliminating that problem? I still feel as though I am a binge thinker. I have a wonderful sponsor with 33 years of sobriety, but this is a topic we have never discussed. I know the problem is out of hand, but I pray on it daily to my high power who is God. Great reading for today.
Just wanted you to know how I enjoyed reading your reply and what a wonderful thing it is, 33 years old. When I see such numbers I'm reminded how sweet life will be the longer I live. God bless and you just made mine with the flavor I enjoy the most.
I know for me prayer helps. I had a situation today that bothered me. i talked about it and prayed to have it lifted
magdalena with 20 years
Your remarks have haunted my thinking since 2/16/13.( A "good" thing.)
What would Bill and Bob think of us now? Many of us old timers wonder about this often I think.I do..
Briefed up..Both might say that they knew change in all areas of society would happen.Styles,fads,social concerns,politics etc.All human living stuff. Were steps and later a "Big" book.and traditions enough ?
When A.A.was just formed so to speak,remember they worried about members joining the armed forces and surviving/sober/ 4 yrs. with out a meeting? Big,big worry at their time!
I know You already know that
A.A. is not a business like a grocery store or car manufacturer etc./ Inventories / profits etc.
.Success in a.a.I feel is accumulated days of sobriety back to back until we leave this earth.Being lived out by hopeless addicts/alchies, now armed with our 12 step A.A. program and all it entails.
In time all but us truly desperate folks fall by the wayside and disappear.
Everything except A.A. has rules.
A.A.has suggestions we had better follow. Quite a difference.
I think we must not concern ourselves with so called success rates,other meetings or shrinking or staying the same in numbers.Sobriety Is Success. I believe.
I also believe there are no musts or rules what so ever in a.a. and never were.And that it is free but
that we Must pay our own expenses.
we will never be "Safe".Our disease is patient.Hoping we'll pick up one more time and lose the whole ball game.Keep an open honest loving mind dear but unknown brother. c.k. Maine
What would Bill and Bob think of us now? I believe that
both of our co-founders look down at today's AA in disgust
and despair. Look at them! They have become everything we
vowed to never be. We worked so hard on the traditions and
they have violated them all. Bill warned us about blunders
we might make. He could see some of them developing before
he left us. Most of the warnings are in his Grapevine
writings. We don't even read them. Our AA history is
of vital value, but most AA members have never read the
history book "AA Comes of Age."
Some A.A. members believe that AA has become so
successful that most alcoholics are cured. That is why our membership numbers are stagnant. We are "alive
and well". AA is doing just great. Believe that, and I
will sell you the George Washington Bridge. ANONYMOUS
One of the worst defects I have carried during my life is my way of thinking. I believe that some of my ideas are just like a virus that contaminates my interior. Know, as I work the AA program, I try to have my mind and beliefs in accordance with a superior power as I conceive it.
Soar with the eagles. I came to AA to save my rear end, not my face. AA has given me the freedom to do anything I want to do, be anything I want to be as long as I'm willing to pay the price -- give it all to God! In the eleventh step, I give my life to God on a daily basis and try to find ways to be of love and service to my fellows. I haven't been let down yet! If the price of trying to soar like an eagle is the possibility of looking like a turkey, then I'm willing to do that. (Anyone who thinks that's bad, has never been on a turkey hunt.) I have come to believe that God works through me and you and all of AA for our higher good, always. There are no mistakes.
I just read the article why so rigid in jan.grapevine.Interesting article,i agree but disagree with the author.I have been sober 20 years and really feel as tho there are not ENOUGH musts in the program today.I have had the same sponsor for 20 years and we have a good relationship.When i came in he was hard on me as where all the oldtimers.this is the point that this will be taken down off here because i know we have no opinions on outside issues.I am familiar with the traditions.Our success rate is at an all time low.Groups like celebrate recovery and rational recovery and smart groups have more attendance and better success rates the we do in a.a Why are there so many people leaving a.a to go to these groups?I believe it is because we do not have enough musts and we can not do the things we did 20 or 30 years ago in a.a too much of the world and its views have seeped into a.a.We are not able to carry the true real message that Bill and Bob carried because we cant hurt peoples feelings.My feelings where hurt alot the first 10 years i was sober.I was taught to grow up and look at my stuff and work the steps and change and get better,Too many people today want an easier softer way so they do not want to here truth and talk about God and accept themselves and grow so the run away to these other groups.I actually have not picked up a grapevine for a long time because I do not believe it is any longer what Bill envisioned it to be.I will leave it at that for now,i am curious to here what people think.
We have brought back the big book and all the musts and directions to our AA group. The results are incredible. Alcoholics are coming and staying sober by practicing the 12 steps as outlined in the big book. the nonalcoholics no longer attend our group. they felt different as they should. Thank God for the other 200 12 step groups out there where these nonalcoholics can identify and recover.
Our groups meetings are of course smaller for now, but they are actual AA meetings and no longer group therapy for every problem. Alcoholics who could not stay sober in the discusion groups or meetings are getting sober in our big book group.
Can you believe it? An AA group of Alcoholics, chaired by alcoholics, participated in by alcoholics,using the book Alcoholics Anonymous, and 12th stepped by alcoholics!
It's great to practice our primary purpose so hopless alcoholics can find life.
i totally agree that it would me great if there was more emphasis on the musts in the big book. it says in how it works, if youwant what we have you will DO what we DID!
all the feely, touchy messages that have been slowly invading a.a. for many years now has watered down the message of the program.
i am considered an "old timer" and when i was getting sober
the "old Timers" told me to take the cotton out of my ears and put it into my mouth. my sponser told me she wasnt there to be my friend, but to help save my life.
dont drink, go to meetings and do (and live) the steps.
it has become increaseingly difficult to find meetings where i can hear the message and not how peoples feelings got hurt.
i understand how oldtimers look to start meetings with sobriety of 20 years and more.
however, i willnot let the disease of alcohol in and will continue to seek out people with the same meesage i was taught,,alot of musts.
I have 27 years sobriety and I truly think that taking the cotton out of my ears and putting it in my mouth as I was told to do by the then old timers is one of the reasons I'm alive today. Over the past 3 decades I've watch to many people die from this disease and their death weren't without great pain and anguish. Therefore I've come to believe that firmness and strict discipline are totally necessary for continued sobriety. We cannot soften the affects of active alcoholism, so what make some think that we should not use firmness with new comers and those who are struggling to help them in saving their own lives.
I want to just give a shout out to all of us old timers. I consider old timers having 20 or more years of sobriety. It is not always easy to stay sober after so many years. What really works for me is to have a sponsor, go to meetings and doing service. It works best for me. Magdalena here with over 29 years of sobriety. Sobriety birthday January 1, 1984 from San Francisco
Hi Magdalena, George here, just celeberated 36 yrs. (2-12-77 @ 7AM). We must have the same sponsor. I was taught with the old basics and stick to them, real simpel and it works. How Lucky Are We !!!!--God has a greatplan, all I have to do is ask for it every day. Not my plan but Gods plan. I try to live a life that will show respect for the program of AA. and will make god smile. It frightenes me when I hear people share--this is how I work "my" program---scary, scary, me,me,me!!How lucky are we to be guided by the steps & principals of the AA Felowship and not by ---"me".
Chillen in Costa Rica
I'm long sober and want you to know I love and appreciate deeply...this forum...Daily Grapevine quote pages remarks.
It's like a meeting that lasts as long as I want and am ready to sit through.
I find it strongly thought provoking.I am truly fond of it and hope it will go on for as long as I'm around.
c.k. Me. ( :\\~*
When I came into the program I had help from people who didn't judge me. They taught me the steps and the traditions. I was allowed to come to their meetings and share my story. I was even allowed to asked someone
at their meetings to be my sponsor. We worked the steps together the ones that needed more person to them. I had been in the program before but never had someone care enough to work the program with me. Eventually we both knew it was time for me to go be with of my peers. The (GLBT)
This small quote speaks volumes to me. I had given up hope of ever living a "Normal" life. Alcohol had taken away not only my hope, but also my very will to live. Thanks to the program of AA, my sponsor and my higher power, I now have almost 6 months of sobriety, living one day at a time. I not only have "Hope" again, I can see in myself and those around me the positive aspects of life itself. --David B. (St. Louis, Missouri)
I am having a very hard time. My Drinking has left me isolated and very sad. I am starting to reach out a nd read daily. Thank you
1st of all if your not drinking,your miles ahead of where you've been...get to a meeting ...get involved , speak up, let them know what's going on...before long the laughter will return to your life...when I got here I was so depressed, I just knew I'd never have fun again....wow, was I wrong...so many friends and so much to do...all,in a sober life style...I pray for you and wish you well....
Regardless how hard the times are in sobriety it is easier than being drunk.----I heard that 36 years ago and it is still true today. Hang in there and fight for your self, you are worth it. Keep AA in one hand and God in the other and you can make it. Please dont leave before the "merical" happens. I have seen it happen time and time again. It will work for you if you are willing to fight for it.
You broke the ice!You already have two elements in your program:reading and writing @ the Grapevine.DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED.Keep building your program-maybe to include meetings,the BigBook(p.86 Daily),a sponsor.These are only suggestions,but we all build our programs from suggestions.We put them into actions such as you have already taken,then we share them with others-that'sAA.Welcome aboard!
Hi i,am Freddy alcoholic.
I have a question I am 3 years sober now and still running away from it because the past whas real tuff but I also no that doing it will make me a better person.
Anyone can help me with a idea.
Hay Freddy alcololic, George alcoholic here.
My 4th step was the most dificult to accomplish. Its all due to-- Fear-Fear-Fear.
Took me 5 years to get started on it then I toutoured myself for another 18 mos. Although I heard it thousands of times in meetings that what I had done was "the worst" the truth is someone has done what I did before me many many times, I did not invent the evil in me there were many just like me and worse however I did need the 4th & 5th to chase the evil out of me. When I completed 4 & 5 in the same weekend there was a tremdious relief and a GIANT LOAD off my sholders. I also felt very much more part of AA, I had accomplished it!!!
If someone else did to me what I did to my self I would have them arrested. In the past I would shoot them or throw gasoline on them and light them of fire or throw acid in there face. (see the change)
Keep God and AA with you and you can accomplish your 4th and all the other steps and get ready for a sober life that will take you to places never imagined.
Sober and chillen in Costa Rica