Burning Desire to Share

2168 replies [Last post]
Anonymous
re: Acknowledging the newcomers, letting them share

My first meeting was one where the monitor asked if there were any people at the first AA meeting. I raised my hand. Then I was asked my name. My initial thought was, what about anonymity? But I shared my name, first AND last, and was told "just your first name." It was embarrassing. But I was desperate, so I stayed around and heard stories like mine, which suggested I was in the right place. At that meeting, someone got their 30 day coin. That was impossible - no one could go that long without a drink. Another got a 6 month coin -- a lifetime to me. Both of those individuals gave me hope that if a stuck around, I might be able to stay sober. As a footnote, I have not seen either coin recipient in years, and wonder what ever became of them. But the important thing was that their accomplishment to date gave me courage and hope when I needed it.
Our meetings still go around the room, with everyone having an opportunity to share. The only different meetings I have been to,, where the monitor picks people to share, seemed cliquish to me as an outsider. It was important for me early on to feel I was a part of AA, and while my sharing then would probably embarrass me now because of the gap between what I knew and what I thought I knew, it was still vital to verbalize what I was going through. But that is just what my experience has been.

karenmarie
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Joined: 2011-10-29
years not months (risky) I have made a spectacle

I have said things I regret. Alcohol plus all the personal issues in my life were so close and raw I was not able to speak calmly. I shared my anger and I did anger others. I have not been able to forgive myself and I don't feel welcome or among friends at meetings. For whatever reason I am still horrified because I have made the same mistakes in AA I have made in my personal life. People do remember the mean words more than the kind ones. /what's done is done!

Anonymous
what's done is done

It's not over until it is over. Steps 8.9 and 10 offer us a reprieve. When I look at the mistakes I have made in AA in the past decades, I grieve. I was often critical of Bill W.
for not accepting the 24 book when it was offerred to AA in
the early 1950's. I believed that Bill didn't want it
approved because it wasn't his own work.
Today with an understanding of the technique, method or
approach given to Bill in the spring of 1935 by Dr. Silkworth, I do understand. Bringing this twice rejected
book to the podium at AA meetings has been a tragic blunder.
I have read HIW at meetings aloud at least a hundred
times. Today, after studying the history left to us by
Bill W. and the others, I understand this also to be a
tragic blunder. This was the approach(method) which did not
work for Bill W. in his first six monthes of what he
later called "violent exertion". It was the advice from
Dr. Silkworth which "straightened him out", Bill later wrote.
In my defense, I was never in favor of the chanting. I
regret not speaking up when chanting began at my groups.
But I just did not want anyone to not like me, so I just
kept quiet and tolerated it. I did not realize how
damaging chanting would later become.
What a price we have paid in human suffering. My
estimate is that we have failed six million alcoholics
plus their friends and families in the past three
decades because of these blunders, and other mistakes
we have made, throughout the AA structure.
Very few AA members read these messages. Many of those
few disagree strongly with me. Please, those who see AA
today as being in trouble, spread the message. All of the
mistakes we have made in AA can be corrected at NO cash
cost. Our pride is what we must sacrifice. Some AA members
will go to the grave in denial. God bless them. After 35
years my head was pulled out of the sand, and I looked
around. I was appalled, mostly at myself. All these
blunders occurred on my "watch". ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
re: Chats are fine, vut....

Hi all,
Chats are fine. We 'get it' where we get it.
There is however something tangible and of the Spirit in seeing the light in the eyes, (sometimes that is insanity, and other times it is the presence of sanity), about hearing the tone of voice, (BS or not), about stating verbally, publicly and directly (in a group) that yes 'I am an Alcoholic' too.
Hearing those things directly has a power that far exceeds the typing. I never could have learned the language of the heart online.

It is repeated direct experience of the people and the meetings week after week, good or bad, that did it for me. that. The keyboard cannot convey all of what is needed, (my opinion and experience).

I endured the smoke, the lies, the bs, the posturing and chest thumping, the occasional fight, slander and more. As a result, I found that part of me that is like them. I really needed that and still do. 'I too have the mind of a chronic alcoholic' took me 7 years of daily meetings to recognize, admit, and verbalize.

I also learned what I do not need and I pray to be relieved of that daily. I have enough insanity of my own. I do not need to get beat up during (or after) the meeting.
Thank you very much.
In service,
fallsoffmotorcycle

Anonymous
chats are fine...

Nothing is better than a meeting. Websites AA is great because when I'm home, and surfing the web, I can always connect with AA, instead of non-AA....I just discovered it...and love it! nickg

Anonymous
intro by members "i'm an alcoholic"

I am going to school to be an AODA councilor and doing research for a paper about optional introductions in AODA counciling programs,and am wondering if any one else out there feels negative about introducing themselves as an alcoholic.Kind of like telling yourself you will ALWAYS fail.This was a stumbling block for me and kept me from openning up.If anyone out there can give me feedback on how they feel on this topic it would help alot.

Anonymous
Stating one's addiction in a meeting

It is hard to say to a group: "my name, alcoholic", but once done a few times, it is no big deal, because it is, after all a meeting of ALCOHOLICS Anonymous - - it is why you are there!
The verbal admission is a first step in admitting your ownership of an addiction that you have no way of controlling without help and support.
Your addiction, when it gets to the point that it does (out of our ability to stop or control) is actually a neurobiological change in our brain tissue, and all the willpower and denial in the world cannot make that damaged tissue spontaneously regenerate. It is like people who are allergic to peanuts: one little bite can kill you.
Your addiction CAN be controlled by following the best parts of the AA program, such as sharing at meetings, taking on service jobs, working the steps with a great sponsor, and strengthening your spiritual life (whether agnostic, atheist, or any other religion, you can tap into the unseen and incomprehensible power of our Universe to find strength and guidance).
To be honest, I find it annoying to have to say my name and my addiction every time I speak, as the meetings in my rural area are small and we all know each other, for the most part.
Lastly, I would rather say my name, and that I am "addicted to alcohol", as we are seeing more and more people with addictions to other substances, and we are all up against the same obstacles, shame, remorse and need for spiritual strength and fellowship. I don't think we should focus on the substance, but on the addiction itself.
Lillian

Anonymous
My name is Joe and I am "addicted to alcohol".

My name is Joe and I am an alcoholic. At last I understand what is wrong with me. There is a name for
it. And in AA I found that I was not alone in my
dilemma. I am an alcoholic. I believe that. I accept that.
Are we going to change that to "I am addicted to drugs,etc?
Alcoholics Anonymous cannot be allowed to become Addicts
Anonymous. But in reality, it has already happened. AA
works at its best by staying with our primary purpose, to
help other alcoholics to find sobriety. ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
Re: Intro By Members "I'm an Alcoholic"

When a member introduces himself/herself as as an alcoholic I can relate and identify with that person. I can't identify if he identifies himself as, for example, a Capricorn, or a Baptist, or a PHD, nor can I identify with him if he identifies himself as an addict.
During what is probably the first anonymity break by an AA member (before AA had the Traditions) Rollie H. said if someone who didn't play the game gave him tips on how to play baseball he wouldn't pay attention because the person didn't know what he was talking about from experience. I pay attention to someone who says he's an alcoholic because I know he's talking from experience.

ohboy408
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Joined: 2011-11-30
introducing yourself

Two things in reply. 1. Bill Wilson NEVER EVER said "My Name Is Bill, and I am an alcoholic" from a podium. I have just about every tape of him speaking. He just starts talking. 2. and are you an alcoholic? you better know. Just remember that your sober life in the meetings will be of no use to you in the counciling field. You have active mental alcoholism, and the the drinking dilemma has been solved. (I am assuming that you have stopped drinking) Really three things. You don't have to share at meetings to be in AA. You can share one-on-one, before and after the meeting. I stopped drinking in 1970, and knew a couple of the first 100, and they never said anything at a meeting, nothing.

AD010416
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Joined: 2012-01-18
Re: Introducing Yourself

You wrote,
"Two things in reply. 1. Bill Wilson NEVER EVER said "My Name Is Bill, and I am an alcoholic" from a podium. I have just about every tape of him speaking. He just starts talking."
Have you read "Pass It On"? On page 219, last paragraph, it says, "Another was the way in which members introduced themselves: "My name is Bil W. I'm an alcoholic." Never one to pass up an imaginative or appropriate idea, Bill probably picked up this custom from the early Oxford Group days, when Frank Buchman (who later abandoned such modesty) referred to himself as Frank B."
He NEVER EVER said it?

Anonymous
Re: Introducing Yourself

Someone wrote, "I stopped drinking in 1970, and knew a couple of the first 100, and they never said anything at a meeting, nothing."
I had my last drink in 1971, have been to meetings in five states and three foreign countries and have never been to a meeting where the speaker didn't identify himself/herself as an alcoholic.
The speaker at our meeting last night celebrated 54 years, had met and chatted with Bill W. and began his talk with, "My name is ---- and I'm an alcoholic."
Granted, in the beginning members didn't identify themselves as alcoholics because it wasn't necessary. Today, with courts and treatment centers sending anyone and everyone to AA it's necessary so that we know whether we're listening to an alcoholic.

Anonymous
RE: Re: Introducing Yourself

I believe that by the late 1960's and early part of the 1970's, the stigma of being an alcoholic had become somewhat less. An AA friend who came in in 1968, said there
were some meetings where names were not stated by all members. It was not implied that anyone must give his/her name. No one yelled "WHO ARE YOU? like they do today.
I personally believe there was about a fifteen year period when AA was at its finest. The general public view
of AA was better than its actual character. I believe that
the changes made at the group level in the 1970's and the
early 1980's led to our near collapse in the 1990's.
Those changes have been listed in the old I-SAY forum
and the new I-say forum. The incessant chanting makes us
look foolish in the public view. Other blunders have been
listed over and over. Welcome to the new FORUM. CVHeather
Note:Two articles have been printed in the AAGRAPEVINE about the reading of How it Works at meetings, and Why are we shouting? Of course the rebuttals are also there.

Anonymous
Introducing yourself

It is really comforting to know that there at least three of
us (posters) are still here after forty years. I know I would have been dead decades ago if I had not found AA and
stopped drinking. The pitiful life I would have led if I
had continued to drink, is not a pretty thought.
Bill did not begin his talks with My name is Bill and I
am an alcoholic. That is only in the movies. In 1970 at
meetings we made the statement "My name is Joe and I am an alcoholic". There was no chanting of Hi Joe! I have been
told that chanting began in California and moved east. This
statement was never meant to be a greeting or a salutation.
It is parts of step one and step five, admitting that I am an alcoholic and admitting it to others.
Personally, I think the chanting, which is actually
yelling, hooting and hollering in some meetings is just
plain stupid. The member who shouts the loudest gets
the most attention. The alcoholic EGO is powerful.
Chanting has no place in an AA meeting and is actually
very harmful. It makes us look foolish in the eyes of
the public, and harms the AA member by inflating the
EGO. Some of the mistakes we have made in the past
three decades have been subtle, but this one is obvious. Incessant chanting is
distracting and annoying to many of us. But we are just
too polite to say anything controversial. The price we
have paid for this blunder is human suffering. We push
alcoholics away, newcomers and oldtimers by this ritual.
ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
RE: introducing yourself

And the most popular of the gurus get the loudest response.
The chanter seems to be saying: Look at me! I'm here, too.
Hardly EGO deflation at depth. Manny Q.

Anonymous
I am an alcoholic

I believe that I am saying this,as with anything else I do in AA,{amends,5th step etc) for me,not for anyone else. It is a statement that reminds me----- WHO I AM,WHAT I AM and WHERE I BELONG.

Anonymous
I am an alcoholic

When I came back to AA (never understood the program my first time around) the first thing I noticed was that I could say my name..but could not say "and I'm and alcoholic". That was when I realized..I 'did not get the program' before..because I had not even accepted the fact that I WAS an alcoholic. I have 52 days of sobriety and I am grateful for thinking I had to say that statement..it really is optional..remember..every thing in AA..is but only a suggestion.

Anonymous
re i'm an alcoholic.

How about "I'm alcoholic?" To me, saying I'm alcoholic is the same as saying "I have a medical issue."

Saying "I'm an alcoholic" makes it sound like you're still practicing drinking.

Or, "I'm a recovering alcoholic" tells others you are in recovery.

Hope these help.

Anonymous
I am an alcoholic.

I remember the first time I made the statement: My name is
Joe and I am an alcoholic. I was sitting around the table
in a well lighted room, with about thirty men and women.
I describe the feeling I had, in one word. Reverent. The definition of reverence is: a feeling or attitude of deep
respect tinged with awe. I was admitting in the presence of
others that I am an alcoholic. Today I understand that
statement to be part of steps one and five. And no one
chanted Hi Joe! We sat in silence while each member shared
her/his experience strength and hope. Some may think or
say: they must have been a GLUM LOT. ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
identifying as an alcoholic

"I have a built in forgetter" as the oldtimers used to say.
My alcoholism is a disease that will kill me. Remembering that is a good thing..as is encouraging others who have the same fatal disease. It IS a disease not a failing.
There is not a day coming when I won't be an alcoholic.
There is not a day coming when it will be safe for me to drink. I identify as an alcoholic at meetings so that I can stay on focus for meetings, so newcomers will see that it isn't the end of the world.
Many mornings when I say my prayers, I remind HP that I am an alcoholic who needs help to stay sober. The day that I say "I am not an alcoholic any more." is the day I am in BIG trouble. May that day never come! I am an alcoholic who can only stay sober one day at a time....and I am sooo grateful that those days recently added up to 22 yrs!

Anonymous
I am an Alcoholic

I find it amusing that at the point where we admit that we are alcoholic and no longer drink, the general public often says You can't be an alcoholic, why, you don't even drink.
Before that time while we are still drinking many others are
aware that we are alcoholics. We say, I am not an alcoholic.
I can stop any time I want to. Personally, I did not really know what an alcoholic was: a person who cannot drink
safely, and cannot "not drink". A strange disease indeed.
ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
id alcoholic

nice response, i think whateva works lets not tinker with
I'm on the fence and about to jump back into the program because my tinkering is not doing anybody much good.
I'm not a wheel maker so I will no longer attempt to re-invent one. Here's to sticking with the program and if that included declaring you are an alcoholic so be it. Tanks,Mr. B

wangswhite
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Joined: 2011-05-09
organization of comments

Has anyone else out there had difficulty in finding posts on this site due to their not being in chronological order? I have to search and search to find the most recent posts!

Anonymous
Question to webeditor.

The old I-Say forum had a running total of the number of times the site was opened. Just before it was revised the site was opened more than 700 times every day. Is there a
running total on this new forum? I am basically computer
illerate so maybe I just don't know how to find it. The last total I found on the old site is 1,392.352. I would like to know how many readers we have for I-SAY. Anonomous

webeditor
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Joined: 2011-04-20
These numbers are not

These numbers are not available publicly on the website, however, I can tell you that we this Isay section received between 600 and 900 views per month. (It varies within that range from month-to-month.)

The numbers you are referring to in the past were wildly inaccurate because they also counted spiders and other "automated" visitors.

- the editors

webeditor
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Joined: 2011-04-20
Organization of Comments

hello,

The comments are in fact ordered chronologically within the different subjects. However, of course, replies are posted beneath the original message and therefore may appear to be out of order.

Cordially,
The Editors

wangswhite
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Joined: 2011-05-09
Thanks!

I had asked about this weeks ago, but the answer I rec'd then was not as clear to me as yours. I'll find the site more useful now. Keep up the great work!

Anonymous
re: introducing ourselves

If you read more about the disease concept of alcoholism, starting with "The Doctor's Opinion" in the beginning of "Alcoholics Anonymous," you may gain some insight into why identifying one's self as an "alcoholic," a "drunk," an "addict," or s someone with "a desire not to drink" is no different than a diabetic identifying herself as such. While I do not buy into the disease concept entirely, it does serve as a useful analogy that helps many understand why it would be a bad idea to pick up a drink. I will never fail if I don't pick up the first drink, and for me, identifying myself as an alcoholic reminds me why not to.

Anonymous
new

I am not sure if AA is right for me. I have embarrassed myself and my family and friends while drinking (probably almost once a week). On other days, I have nothing to drink or sometimes 1 or 2 beers. Once I get to that buzzed feeling, I never want to stop and no one can make me but if I stop before being buzzed, I am fine. Do I stop drinking altogether or just try to control it?

Anonymous
Welcome to A.A.

Welcome to A.A. - A.A. works and works good for alcoholics
what a great start to see sit around and watch the circus, won't take long to decide.
A great self discovery program A.A. can be.

Anonymous
Happiness without drinking

For the first time in my life I have found a place that has taught me to be happy without putting something in me(drink or drug)to make me that way.If you are still seeking all it means is that you have't found it yet in AA.It is here in AA.Just look the way we suggest and do not give up.You will find everything you are looking for.I have found it and it is'nt what I thought it would be.It's better!

ohboy408
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Joined: 2011-11-30
New

Don't drink. Or putting it in better words for you, give up drinking altogether. I have had talks with non alcoholic people in the drinking business, club owners, etc. It is an "all-or-nothing" thing. I am in AA. I could not choose, my drink date is 01/03/1970.

Anonymous
Boy, Oh, Boy

That is forty two years of continuous sobriety. That is
remarkable. I was given the gift shortly after. Do you recall exactly what AA meetings were like at that time.
Rooms everywhere full of smoke. Old men smoking cigars sitting next to you. I just loved it. I felt like I was
up there with the big boys, one of them. Almost like
sitting on the first bar stools. Seriously what changes
have you seen in AA over the four plus decades? Do you
think that AA has gotten better. I think it was Bernard
Smith who said each generation should leave the fellowship
in better shape than when we found it. Do you think we
have done that? A lot of the messages seem to say that
we have failed that goal. Could you give us your view
from your observation over the years? ANONYMOUS

Anonymous
Getting Buzzed

Hi,
My name's Lisa and I'm an alcoholic.
Embarrassing fiends and family weekly, even though you don't want to...Life has become unmanageable

If you are trying to control your drinking and cannot stop once you get a buzz...Powerless over alcohol.

If you read Step One of AA's Twelve Steps,
you may find that you are not alone and there is a solution if you're willing to follow a few suggestion.

Good Luck,
Lisa I.

Anonymous
Where Else?

Where else can you find a group of people that cheers one on as the make it safely out of a burning building they burnt down?

Do you have a burning sensation ?

Anonymous
1 or 2 beers?

Take this strangers advice and STOP! I was (and to a point still am) a "social drinker". I dont want to stop once I get that buzz but if I only drink 1 or 2, I am still thinking, "what a waste". I am an alcoholic who has been struggling with "not being sure AA is right for me" for 25 years. I have been in and out of those doors so many times that sometimes I think I created the term 'revolving door'.
Please do yourself a favor and STOP. It is only going to get worse if you dont. God speed on your decision and may you have a blessed life without the use of alcohol (or any other mood altering vice).

jo.d.c
Offline
Joined: 2011-10-28
my experience

stop! thats what I would say. But you proably are asking well how do I do that. Dont worry you dont need all the answers. also what i have found that when I think I have something totally figured out I really dont have it figured out. Take all your skeptisism and doubt and questions and just trust. trust whom? listen to the stories talk to others and follow your heart. I can relate to the feeling of not belonging!! I was going to meeting with lots of country folk and well I am a gay male. Talk about uncomfy. But I went. Eventually I found lamda in houston. trust the process

Anonymous
My Experience.

Hello My name is David and I am a Alcoholic.I have been sober for 5 years now.
One of the many tools l have to stay sober is l rember my pastwhen l was drinking (which wasnt good at all)and the guilt l carried.
I rembered the Hell l inflicted on people all in my Family,my Mother had the Police around every time I was drinking and the Hell l was going through myself,l was on a slippery slope and didnt top until l had assalted my Mother then l stopped and went into Detox and five years down the track Im 5 years sober.
If I have no reason to go near a Drinking Place I stay right away.
Thank You and god Bless.

Anonymous
RE: my experience

Whats great about A.A is that even a bad example can be good.
Things in A.A are not learned there developed and if we hadn't already learned from our past go out and develop it.
It's as simple as, that no human power can relive us and ONLY but for the grace of God there goes my human sponsor.

Anonymous
One suggestion is to stop

One suggestion is to stop drinking entirely for awhile & go to AA meetings; maybe a variety of meetings in your area. You can always go back to drinking later. You might also find people who have had experience similar to yours.

I had an experience similar to yours. At some point it occurred to me that once I reached a certain point in my drinking, I couldn't stop.

Anonymous
Is AA right for you..

It is said that if you are seeking AA, there is a high likelihood that you may have a problem. Nobody but you can determine if you have a problem with Alcohol. For myself, I thought the same things that you do.. I did not lose my job or get DUIs or anything like that but I did feel deep inside that my drinking was unmanageable. I have almost 90 days in the program and I am so happy that I have my AA family. I encourage you to attend a local meeting and find out more about the program and yourself. Thank you for sharing :)

Anonymous
not going to meetings

I've found myself out of place at meetings before when I hear people speak in "we" terms when they are not speaking for me, they don't even know me.

Also, once I tried a group where some really full of himself
guy jabbed me really hard in the back because I wasn't turning around to face him as he very longwindedly described how much he knew about life, AA, and everything in the world. What he didn't know is that I have severe damage to my vertebrae and discs in my neck any I can't twist around like, I was just patiently listening. I went there for help and support but not for anyone to lay a hand on me because their ego required my full attention. Also, at meetings I have to walk through a sea of smokers just to get to the meetings, and the smell of coffee gives me a headache and always has, I must be allergic to it, 'cause everyone likes the smell except me.

I really do need a support group to help me through this, I have tried numerous groups over the years. Why is smoking and drinking coffee so prevalent? Aren't they addictions, too? It's keeping me from being able to partcipate and get the help that I need. I want a healthy lifestyle... period. Not just apart from alcohol but apart from as many carcinogens as possible.

This chatroom is so much better than sitting uncomfortably around strangers, some of them really scary looking people. Some of these posts are written by very insightful people, and I can really appreciate that.

I'm gonna try another group today, this time at a Catholic Church that I've been to several times, maybe they don't allow smoking on the church grounds. I know they have nice handicapped parking for people like me. Maybe this will be the group with more reverence.

I still wish I had told that guy to keep his hands to himself, but I was the newcomer, it was a room full of men, only one other woman and she was in a swimsuit with a cover-up. Not the group that I felt comfortable in at all. A horrible experience, exactly what I didn't need.

Anonymous
Response to "Not going to Meetings."

I have been sober for 14 years now and in the beginning I found everything wrong with every meeting I went to. Not every meeting works for everyone, but I had to realize that something was wrong with my thinking also. My negative attitude was a big part of the problem. I was told to look for the similarities and not the differences and to shop around for other meetings. Eventually I found a Home Group and a place for myself in AA. As I began to heal my thinking, which Alcoholism is a "thinking" disease as well as a "drinking" one, then the smoke, peoples ego, etc. didn't bother me as much.I began to realize I needed AA like I needed air itself. Keep looking around and don't give up because you had a bad experience.AA does have a solution in the steps, a good sponsor is important also. Keep the Faith and keep coming back.

Anonymous
I miss it tooI

I am sober through the grace of God a little over 28 years and I have to admit the quality of sponsorship has declined over the years. In the 80's we could tell who was new simply by their language, the way they dressed, and the general lack of respect and manners. You could see progress when a person began to clean up their language a bit and that they actually showered and dressed for the meeting, or the actually cracked open their wallet and brought their own Big Book or 12 & 12 to the meetings.

My sponsor told me during that first year that since I wasn't drunk anymore it was time that I stopped talking, acting, and dressing like one. Apparently this doesn't happen anymore.

I begin the question the validity of the program when I hear that someone just keyed her boyfriends car - but she didn't drink and she still has 5 years of sobriety! Or a man that looks like I should cross the street to avoid him talks about the 15 years he has.

I believe that we have to change if we are to learn to live a sober life. Behaving badly while stone cold sober is not an improvement for me. I am about living sober. I want peace and serenity in my life and I want to give peace and serenity to those around me.

Good luck to you! Perhaps the person who suggested that you register as a loner has something there - combining AA online with sober correspondence could be just the answer for you.

Anonymous
I dont need a hug!

My name's Mike, I'm an alcoholic.
I've put together many 24 hours. I've watched people force handshakes & hugs on members for years. I want members to know that its ok to hold up a hand & say, STOP, PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME. I am an athlete. I race on asphalt. When I train, sometimes I'm not wearing the leather suit I race in. My injuries mostly consist of road-rash. Please respect my space. Thanks.

Anonymous
A.A. a simple program

A.A. is not a simple program for complicated people that CANNOT intuitively handle situations that still bother them.

sevebra7
Offline
Joined: 2011-10-16
valid point

I have been in sobriety for about 4 years now(do not have that much time sober though) and still do not have a good intuition on helping or even talking to others. I am an only child that is also an isolating alcoholic.
I tend to be the person that scares the newcomer away still. Even in regular conversation I tend to make others feel awkward. I have a better understanding today then I did in the beginning of having regular conversation. Something you think would come naturally right. No I am still learning social intuition.

You know how in the Big Book it says,"We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us."
'Intuitively' is not the correct word here. The word they are looking for is clairvoyance. Intuition is more something that you can learn in school or through trial and error. If you look up clairvoyance in a dictionary you will see that clairvoyance is like seeing the world through Gods eyes and being able to handle every situation in that way. The past will only be seen as a stepping stone for a better future.
This God is what your after...if God exists.

Anonymous
RE: valid point

Intuitive is the correct word if we are talking about God not a sponsor. I had a friend ask after six years around the program when this is going to happen, Being six years sober and still not able to see we are living it surprised me.
I think they had one to many sponsors diverted and incapable of being true to there self's.

Anonymous
Trying to Understand

The ideas of A.A in the A,B,C's, I TOTALLY agree with
The purpose of the Big Book to introduce me to God, I TOTALLY agree
The promise to intuitively handle situations that use to baffle me has happened
I have a tremendous amount of friends I talk with today caring how things are.
The non understanding part seemingly undermining A.A's principles, promises and idea's is
the outside sponsorhip system thing that is not in the Steps nor Traditions or in the 164 pages of the program
The only sense it seems to make is helping one that knows NOTHING of A.A. to it's doors, after that, it seems very very harmful and destructive to both parties involved and opposed to A.A. And the people already here.
I guess loneliness can take a person to some strange place but why be lonely with all these nice people around in A.A? Trying to understand that with God I 'm never alone and around friends I am never lonely and understand it's not about me or you but the message of A.A.– Why all the craze about getting a outside sponsor already her inside? where did it come from if it opposes A.A.'s ideas principles and promises ?

Anonymous
Not going to meetings

Wow! The coffee stinks, the people don't look right, someone might touch me because I don't have a 'hands off' sign, Etc. Etc. Etc.
All very good reasons to stay away from meetings.
I needed help to get and stay sober. One very good reason to go to meetings.
Why not try following the suggestions in the Big Book? And contact LIM as a Homer?

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