Heard At Meetings
A good one for me to remember.
expectations are pre-meditated resentments
How can you expect to think yourself out of something that you have BEHAVED yourself into?
I saw this written at a meeting. "EMBRACE THE SIMILARITIES. LOVE THE DIFFERENCES IN ALL OUR AFFAIRS."
I heard at AA, "THE BEST WAY TO GET EVEN WITH SOMEONE IS TO PRAY OR THEM!
After a detailed 4th & 5th step my sponsor calmly said:
"With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. EVERYTHING is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to chose."
I have heard this at meetings many times. The following one is very helpful to me when angry or resentful:
"Nothing pays greater dividends than restraint of tongue and pen."
Nowadays I think it would be good to update this now and then to:
"Nothing pays greater dividends than restraint of tongue and text."
life is lived forward but it's best understood backwards
My mother said to me, "If you are never happy where you are, how can you expect to be happy where you are not!"
When I am feeling depressed, I repeat to myself statements such as these: "Pain is the touchstone of progress."..."This too shall pass"..."Fear no evil"..."This experience can be turned to benefit".
These fragments of prayer bring far more than mere comfort. They keep me on the track of right acceptance; they break up my compulsive themes of guilt, depression, rebellion and pride; and sometimes they endow me with the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
As Bill Sees It. Page 148.
Our group shared on this at a recent AA meeting.
You cannot build a reputation on WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO!
Intellectual knowledge can be converted into Wisdom by action!
Early in me sobriety I was complaining to my sponsor about always misplacing my keys. He suggested that each night before going to bed I should put them under my bed, that way I'd know where they were in the morning and that while I was down there I was in the correct position to thank my Higher Power for the beginning and the end of another sober day. It still works 2 years later. Dennis D.
The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays. Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays.
AA has taught me CONSISTENCY!
Avoid these 2 pests. HURRY and INDECISION!
Try doing someone a good turn and tell nobody else about it!!!
You see, of course, I am extrovert! I am always thinking through my mouth!
I'm an introvert, before anything comes out of my mouth it makes three laps around inside of my head. Reviewed by a committee of three ( me, myself and I) then revised to sound profound or thoughtful or politically correct. By the time I'm ready to speak the time of relevancy has passed and I set there muted by my own insecurity Dennis D.
I heard at a meeting one time the difference between a teatotaller, a hard drinker, and an alcoholic is like this:
If a fly lands in the drink of a teatotaler, they simply set the drink aside.
If a fly lands in the drink of a hard drinker, they simply remove the fly and continue to drink that drink.
If a fly lands in the drink of an alcoholic, he removes the fly and shouts spit it out,spit it out! so the fly doesnt get some of his alcohol.
Love this one.
Enjoyed that one, will use it so thanks!
This was hilarious
AA is one alcoholic helping another alcoholic not drink one day at a time. If this means that when asked to share I say something like, "I heard what you said about being 3 days sober and way to go, it's not easy. You may want to carry some candy around in case you get a craving. Alcohol turns to sugar, water and carbon dioxide in the human body and the sugar in the candy can quinch a craving...as long as your not diabetic."
Just a suggestion directed at someone directly in a meeting is not crosstalk...it's AA.
A suggestion directed at someone directly at a meeting is
one EXAMPLE of crosstalk. Advice giving in the meeting is
discouraged. Any comment about another member's sharing
is crosstalk, as I understand and believe. I believe we
ought to share our OWN story, our own experience, strength
and hope, without any advice giving. Our sharing ought to
be directed toward the group or the chairperson. I don't
believe we ought to tell anyone at an A.A. meeting what
to do, even in the form of a "suggestion". We ought to
share what we do, rather than telling anyone what to do.
I think what you are talking about is group therapy. A.A. is much more than that. ANONYMOUS
Amen, Amen, Amen. You took the words right out of my mouth.
I also don't believe sharing suggestions is cross talk. Yes we are here to share our experiance, but we are also here to share our strength and hope. Sometimes our suggestions are a part of that. Its only the opinions and personalities that get in the way.
I understand what you're saying about advice in meetings. I would argue that this is something that's been going on in meetings for decades- and as such, has become as much AA tradition as "90 meetings in 90 days" has.
However, here in my area most meetings are either Big Book discussion meetings or topic discussion meetings. If I can't talk about what someone else just talked about, I couldn't participate in almost any of the meetings here.
Also, if I am touched or helped by another member's share, I cannot see it as a bad thing to let them know it- even during the meeting. There is (almost) nothing as saddening to me as the fact that our meetings have become so impersonal that no one knows anyone's last name, or can ask questions, or- HP forbid!- show up DRUNK to an ALCOHOLICS Anonymous meeting.
We are so afraid of harming the newcomer or the hurting person or whomever, that we forget that their HP brought them to that meeting, on that day and time, during that discussion, for a reason. Assuming I know what will help or harm another is assuming I know better than God/HP. This, for me at least, is dangerous ground.
Uh oh. 90 meetings in 90 days is not A.A.
That comes from treatment centers, and while it
is a good idea to make a habit of going to meetings,
I'm pretty sure you will not find that in any official
A.A. literature and certainly not the big book.
I suggest my sponsee's they go to a meeting a day for 90 days, not 90 meetings in 90 days. Why? Because when I came along I went to 4 meetings a day 5 days a week but skipped weekends. That created a habit that took years to break. I eventually incorporated meetings on the weekend but it took a while.
When I came into AA, 1/1/77, I was told to go to 90 in 90.
When I came (back) to AA on 1/1/77, I was told to not drink and go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Followed the suggestion.
Will celebrate 37 years on1/1/14. So greatful !
When I came back to the program, on 1/1/77, I was told to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. It worked, thank The Lord !
When I came to AA, on 1/1/77........ I was told the same thing
Thank you and well said, ZB. I feel much the same way. Meetings, for me, are not about being ploitically correct, not stepping on someones toes, and not about keeping from what may have helped me. The meetings are for the NEWCOMER. WE are there to help them trudge the road to happy destiny. Step 12....just saying.
We are alcoholics anonymous. In A.A. we can avoid using
last names and ought to do so. First names are optional in
a true A.A. meeting. Who I am is just not that important.
Doesn't anonymous mean without name? We need to assure that
anyone who wishes to, can join us anonymously.
Anyone can ask questions before or after the meeting,
just not during the meeting. A meeting is not a question and answer session. ANONYMOUS
I always introduce myself with first and last name in closed meetings and especially when at out of town meetings. That makes it easier and simpler for anybody to reach out to me for assistance. It is something I started after reading Dr Bob and the Good Oldtimers and studying the 11th tradition. I don't have to advertise when I sweep & mop or shovel the sidewalk at the clubhouse (unless trying to get somebody involved in service work). There are a lot of Steve's in this city of 30K and hiding from others only keeps me isolated and alone.
From page 264 of the book Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers:
there are two ways to break the Anonymity Tradition: (1) by giving your name at the public level of press or radio; (2) by being so anonymous that you can't be reached by other drunks.
It's worth reading this book to get some perspective.
This is how I like to see AA lived.
Is alcohol an addictive drug? Yes it is. End of story
As NA clarifies, alcohol is a drug, period. I find this debate alternately hilarious and upsetting depending on where my head is on a given day. In my mind, there is no debate, and it bothers me hearing people say they can't relate to a drug addict or the other way around. I call BS on that. The phenomenon of craving is universal. Sensing for that sense of ease and comfort is universal. If someone's recovery or head-space is damaged by someone talking about drugs at an AA meeting I would draw their attention to this to page 90 (Step 10) of the Twelve and Twelve which reads: "It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us."
Bill Wilson drank both gin and sedative. Many of the stories in the big book reference drugs. For me, they just went naturally together. I started with alcohol, but once that door was open I did whatever I could get my hands on.
It just boggles my mind that the fellowship questions this at all. If "We are like the passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck when camaraderie, joyousness and democracy pervade the vessel from steerage to Captain's table." why are we trying to push some people back into the water to drown?
I was one of six two days ago at an AA mtg. two of the six were meth addicts, one was also an alcoholic also addicted to meth.
I have attended 2-4 aa mtgs week since 1991. at that small mtg, when the meth addicts talked about meth, i could not relate. they talked about experiences i have never had. thank God that ws not my first mtg.
That story has been told for much too long. It is
fiction. Drug addicts should never have been accepted as
members of Alcoholics Anonymous. But who is to blame? We
are. Anyone at an A.A. meeting who states that they are
an adddict ought to be informed that Alcoholics Anonymous
is for drinkers only. "Dual addicted" ought to honor the
fellowship that they attending, whether A.A., N.A., S.A.,
G.A., or O.A. But because we do not want to hurt anyone's
feelings, no one says anything. Our own kindness has harmed
us, and has harmed those we have tried not to hurt. Both
fellowships have lost much of their effectiveness. The
necessary identification is just not there. If we start
now to separate the alcoholic from the drug addict (meetings), both fellowships will eventually regain their effectiveness. We have been called cousins of sort. I
don't believe cousins ought ever be married, as someone
else wrote. ANONYMOUS
Well said! In a simpler form I heard an old timer say, "If I need brain surgery, I'm not going to go to a an orthopedic surgeon." That said it all for me.
Well stated...couldn't agree with you more...
Alcohol is a drug, just like pot, cocaine, heroin, etc.
An addict is an addict, no matter what his drug of choice. I think this kind of self centered thinking says alot of the person making the statement!
Imagine taking an Alcoholic to his first AA meeting, and you arrive five minutes after the meeting begins.
2 members of Al-Anon are at the top table. There are 3 members of CA. I member of GA and 4 members of NA 1mmber of OA. sitting around the same table!
They are all addicts! Maybe some AA's think they should be at AA meetings. I do not.
Think of the new member in the example I quoted above. My question to all reading this piece is very simple.
What identification will he get in such an assortment of addicts?
You asked, "What identification will he get in such an assortment of addicts?". Well if he/she were at my home group he/she would quickly here that alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. etc. are only symptoms of our disease and in our group we treat the disease and not the sypmtom. I personally tell them if they want symptoms treated they should see a physician or other professional help, they treat symptoms; A.A. treats disease. :)
The symptoms of Alcoholism for me are powerlessness over alcohol and my life becoming unmanageable.You say, "If they want symptoms treated they should see a physician or other professional help" and you also say "AA treats the disease"
My question is, "AA treats the Disease OF WHAT?"
Hello, I'm new to this site. I'm super excited this is available to me! I just wanted to comment really quick! I'm pretty new to AA but this is what I have concluded, for myself. I, myself, am cross-addicted. When I'm in an AA mtg, I introduce myself as an alcoholic. When in an NA mtg, I'm an addict. For me, I'm not identifying with the alcohol or with the drug. I'm identifying with the turmoil that it causes on the inside of the said person. The emotional and mental aspects of the disease. We have each taken our own journey with the alcohol/drug. We have each had different expierences and consequences from using alcohol/drugs. I've identified with some and with others, I have not. But when it comes to the emotional and mental aspects, I've always identified, in some way shape or form. And that's what it's about for me. It's about taking away something from someone who has been on the sobriety journey, that will help me to get through to the other side of things. Because. obviously, what I am doing hasn't been working for me. This is my opinion and it's what works, FOR ME!!!
I'm just curious as to hwo that addict sitting in the AA meeting has affected your recovery.
When he speaks, he cant share his experience with alcoholism. When it comes time to practice step 12, he will not be able to talk to another alcoholic about alcoholism from his personal experience.
When I talk to him, I am guessing about what he feels about alcoholism. When I talk about alcoholism, he is guessing about me.
When I talk to an alcoholic, I know from personal experience what he is going through. There is no guessing.
That, in my opinion is why AA has a singleness of purpose. We want to stick to one thing and do one thing well.