Heard At Meetings
The first thing you put ahead of your soberity is the second thing you’ll lose.
"The first thing you put ahead of your sobriety is the second thing you'll lose," - Dennis D.
THANK YOU for this post. Last night was my first meeting in 5 years. Although I've kept a lot of what AA has tought me in mind throughout those years...this is something new and a HUGE eye opener, because that's exactly what I've been doing. Always putting something, or someone (mainly someone), ahead of my sobriety.
I feel like I've been on the worst bungee jump of my life, hitting rock bottom, then coming back into the air, and nose diving into the rocks again, and again, and again. Not putting myself (physical, mental, and spiritual being) ahead of everything else has truely been my issue.
Thank You, again, for putting this into perspective for me.
If God knocks one needs to open the door, there are a lot of people who have no door knobs to open the door - Just ding dongs sponsors to let them know something maybe going down.
If you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow all you can do is pee on today...so get both feet in today.
Nearly all Independence Day disasters start with the following phrase: "Hey, hold my beer and watch THIS!"
Thw most important thing my first sponsor said to me was: Do you see that young man over by the coffee pot? I think he is new. Would you go over and talk to him? He never asked
me what step I was on. He did often ask me to sit in the
back seat. We were going to an open meeting and his wife
was joining us. He died at 13 years sober and to my knowledge never "worked" the steps. I know he never pushed the steps on me, although I eventually took them of my own
volition. The steps are suggestions. The Big Book is meant
to be suggestive only. Why do we cram and pound?? Anonymous
Why doe we cram and pound? awesome, I think it could be that some people are legends in their own minds and others just live the steps one day at a time doing the best they can, " never take yourself to seriously" I love that one.
You are so right! The steps are merely a suggestion........ then too a rip cord on a parachute is merely a suggestion. M.
Dear M. The steps are truly suggestions. I have used the
example of the cord on a parachute many times in the past
years. I called the steps D---ed well betters. But when I
found out that our fellowship was diminishing I did some
research. I know today that I was part of the problem. I
beg of you, read the history. This "problem" was solved
seventy years ago. We push alcoholics away by telling them
at their first meeting all that is contained in the first
two and a half pages of chapter five. I am grateful that
I finally pulled my head out of the sand, and looked around. Believe me, it has cost me dearly. But every time
an AA member tells me: NOW I UNDERSTAND!, it makes it
worth it. ANONYMOUS
" Why do we cram and pound?" What does that mean?
Bill W. wrote on page 8 in Language of the Heart that we do not cram the steps down anyone's throat. Yet we do it all the time at almost every meeting. We do this by reading the
steps to the newcomer at his very first meeting. Reading the
steps and telling the newcomer to find God and Find Him NOW
is harmful. The cart before the horse IDEA from Dr. Silkworth explains all this. The steps are not mandatory
and are only suggestions offered to those who wish to use them. We ought not push them on any AA member. The Big Book
was meant to be suggestive only. Yet we thump and pound the
book as if it were the second Bible. Bill and his friends
were frantic to get the book printed. They made several
last minute changes which were vital. Bill spent the rest
of his life explaining and clarifying the meanings. One of
the last minute changes had to do with following our path
and not our directions. Yet we spout directions all the
time telling newcomers and others what to do. To be
effective I need to only tell the newcomer EXACTLY what
I did and EXACTLY what happened to me. If we can stop
cramming the steps and thumping the big book, maybe we
can return to an accepted rate of effectiveness and growth.
In case you didn't know, we have lost 20% of our
membership in the past two decades, after 57 years of
continuous growth. These figures are provided by our
General Service Office. Our blunders can be reversed, but
first we have to recognize them and admit them. Anonymous
I am one of the 20% i will not go to meetings anymore as they make me so frustrated, for all the same reasons that where given with the person that brought up cram & pound.I only went to meetings for the first 4 months and that was enough for me! if I had of kept going I would not, now have a year of sobriety.There are more than a few members that think they are helping, by calling you or every time you see them, that is all they talk about.Even weather there may be others around that don't know that you have had or still have a problem with substance abuse.I do not believe with the 30 meetings in 30 days or big book meeting where some try to dissect what Bill means with every word he says!I do believe the program does help people but there are also other ways of giving it up.Will power and a will to live! See a counselor on addictions. AA is not the only path to follow to get the results you are looking for.
Acceptance is an inside personal job. Surrender is an out side job that gives up. If one's acceptance is true to thy self it is impossible to surrender, unless of course your sponsor became your God.
"The elevator to sobriety is broken....you need to take a cab instead."
"The elevator to sobriety is broken. Please use the steps...................
I found this comment amusing. it brought a chuckle. I find so little to smile about these days. Take a taxi to a meeting. I had never heard this one. Hopefully you will find sobriety there. But not always. Anonymous
Take a cab? This makes no sense whatsoever.
What is the difference between God and me? God never thinks he's me.
I love that and it is so true. One of my favorites is I'm just another bozo on the bus that God drives!
Andrea B. - New Mexico
I am subject to change without notice, I am working to be subject to notice without change.
"God never gives me more then I can handle...I just wish he didn't think so highly of me!"
Steps keep us from killing ourselves, Traditions keep us from killing each other.
"Some days you're the pidgeon - other days you're the statue"
We are the only people who get mad when we don't get whate don't even deserve.
Don't let the life that AA gave you get in the way of your AA life.
that is so true
Service work is the difference between intellectually believing in God and actively seeking his will !
I promise I'll never do it again if you just get me out of this one.
This is what I call a 'fox hole' prayer.
It never works.
I must accept the fact that I AM an alcoholic.
don't drink between feelings
...or AT meetings; all other times are optional.
"Quit telling your God how big your problems are, and start telling your problems how big your God is"
i really enjoyed your comment
AA is like the Mob if you leave, you're dead!
Tonight at my home group, I heard something that I had heard a million times...but this time with a great caveat...
"God will never give me more than I can handle...but life will, which is why I need God."
I heard the definition of psychopath out of the dictionary at a meeting the other day and if your truelly an alcoholic thats how we were, my dictionary does'nt have the word in it or I would share it, but look it up you will be amazed at least our whole group could relate and it made us all feel alot better and made us feel even closer to eachother and that we really do need AA. Ejoy Jules
repeatedly doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. that means a.a. members have this problem, when they know what the first drink will lead to trouble but continue to do so. that is why thank my hirer power the fellowship and the understanding of somber a.a. members who showed me the way to a better life by not lifting the first drink for one day and your life can only improve
After confirming with the designated point of contact and volunteering at a district sponsored event, the area committee chair later said, "You can't just show up".
Showing up is better than not showing up. "Bring the body and the mind will follow". "We came, we came to, we came to believe." Once the mind catches up to the body, some action will be a good idea too. Into Action, that's how it works!
so suit up and show up.
At my home group last night, I heard someone say that their sponsor's short version of the 3rd Step is "Get in the car!"
A sober member was 17 years since his last drink! He was going on a 12 step call. He invited a young boy who was 17 WEEKS since his last drink.
The young boy says, "You are 17 years since your last drink and I am only 17 weeks since my last drink, what good will I be to this man we are about to visit.
The 17 year sober man said, "You will do great. You are 17 weeks since your last drink, he will find it easier to identify with you. Because you were last at the scene of the accident!!!"
Very funny comment, Jon W. In the area of NY where I got sober, it was preceded by SHUT UP (and get in the car). Worked for me!