Heard At Meetings

825 replies [Last post]
Anonymous
Meds

Because the sponsor is an idiot. Not following a doctor's advice is self-medicating - plain and simple.

Page 133 is very clear than we "...good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward."

Is there something elusive in "afterward" that I and not aware of?

Anonymous
Sponors show me by their EXAMPLE!!!

A sponsor is in my life to show me what he did. He is not there to tell me what to do. I do not discuss my health issues at an AA meeting, neither do I discuss what medicine I have been given by the competent medical authority.

Keep it simple!

When I go to see my doctor, I do not read the AA preamble or Chapter 5 to him or her!

I go to discuss my health to him, and take his guidance and direction, because he trained and qualified to do so.

Anonymous
Sponsorship

Some alcoholics have the delusion that they (personally) can do all things for another, including diagnosing diseases and perscribing medication or telling them not to take it. I am a Type 1 diabetic (being treated by an endocrinologist with insulin) and am being treated by a Psychiatrist for clinical depression (with an SSRI type antidepressant). I have had several "nutcases" tell me that I didn't need either of those medications! I thanked them for sharing their opinion, asked them where they got their Medical Licence, then suggested that they should call my MDs and tell The Doctors, not me, what they thought. I then told them that MY SPONSER had told me that the big book specifically states that there are good Doctors out there and we should be honest with them and follow their instructions. If I break my leg, I'd first want someone to take me to the hospital, not a meeting.

wbsearch
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Joined: 2013-05-22
Sponsorship

We are not doctors

Anonymous
We are not doctors!

Some of us are!

Anonymous
Sponsorship:

Sponsor is a

S--ober

P--erson

O--ffering

N--ewcomer

S--uggestions

O--n

R--ecovery

Anonymous
Sponsorship:

Sponsor is a

S--ober

P--erson

O--ffering

N--ewcomer

S-uggestions

O--n

R--ecovery

PaulP113
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Joined: 2013-07-18
Star Trek???

" Dang it Jim, I'm only an alcoholic!" ~~ Dr. McCoy

JamesX
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Joined: 2013-05-13
We are not doctors. We don't

We are not doctors. We don't give advise. We share our.ourexperience. if you don't have experience it's good to listen and send then to a power greater than you the doctor.

Anonymous
Sponsorship

Because the only requirement for membership is being nuts. That's why everything important (like we are not doctors) is written down.

Think of any business or organization without any established standards, checks and balances. Now put someone in charge of it who may or not be crazy at any given time. Get the picture?

Anonymous
The word "desire"

I was once at a meeting where the word "desire" was discussed; as in "The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking." Nothing there says you're excommunicated if you aren't able to stop yet.

Anonymous
big book knowledge

Knowledge never made anyone relapse in AA. It's failure to practice the answer known.

Anonymous
RE: big book knowledge

What you don't know never made anyone relapse it’s what you think you know that is not so that causes the trouble.
Let go and let Joe - LOl

soberzuzu
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Joined: 2013-05-13
Surrender Some More

I was complaining to my Sponsor about how constantly busy and frazzled I am. She said "if you are over-whelmed it usually means you are under-surrendered." I silently growled, but I knew she was right . . .

Anonymous
Overwhelmed!

Did anyone ever meet anyone who was just simply WHELMED!

Anonymous
Overwhelmed.

I often hear folk say "I AM OVERWHELMED!"

I am in my 75th. year and I have yet to meet someone who was just "WHELMED!!!"

Anonymous
... good point

... i can identify with th@ - & - may be able to keep it in mind - next time i get the same way ! otis.

Anonymous
RE: Surrender Some More

God is not looking for people to surrender he gives the courage and is not interested in cowards

Anonymous
God is interested in everyone.

God is interested in everyone therefore he is interested in cowards!!!

Anonymous
Sober for a long time...humour!

I am in my 75th. year now and my Sponsor is older.

He told me that a 20 year old asked him,"HOW DO I BECOME AN OLDTIMER?"

He replied, "Don't take the first drink, work the AA way of life, and by the way PLEASE DON'T DIE."

JamesX
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Joined: 2013-05-13
Okay

Okay

Anonymous
"Don't think, don't drink,

"Don't think, don't drink, and get to a meeting!"

Anonymous
"Don't think. Don't drink and get to a meeting!"

An excellent piece of advice!

Anonymous
?

cant stop need help too weak two days trying for three.
pray for me!!!!!! jonny.

Anonymous
Surrender.

One big problem that I had was that failed all the time to get rid of my inner yearning for the the God of my own understanding!

Anonymous
Try "giving up"

Almost three years ago, I send my first sincere prayer to God. Actually, I prayed to the dome light in the car. I asked for guidance and a sign I was doing what He wanted me to do. That's "God" Him, Her or It. Not of a religion or even what other AA's think God is. Just something greater than me. That's all.

I went into a meeting and met a sponsor there.

No one told me that no matter how bad it SUCKS, it WILL PASS, no matter what you do or don't do, AND that some days ARE going to suck, whether you are sober or not! They will just suck much more if you're high is all.

Know that the reason you use WON'T fix the issue of why you hurt. EVER. One you know that in your heart, atheist or not, you're ready 110% to quit. Because getting high doesn't help.

Call another AA, get or call your sponsor. Know it's OK to hurt, feel sad, cry, be furious, etc. Go for a run; that worked well for me, especially when I'm furious! Eat something. Talk to someone. Volunteer at PAWS or somewhere that speaks to you. "Get OUT of yourself!" As they say. Ask about someone else, and REALLY HEAR the answers.

Go see a movie you have been waiting on. Read a brand-new book. Sniff a fresh puppy! Learn a new language. Work on your typing skills or anything you always wanted to learn.

It's not ABOUT weakness, Jonny, TRUST ME. It's a mental illness, as stated in "The Dr.'s Opinion" at the start of the Big Book of AA.

NEVER, EVER pick up that first drink. LITERALLY! Knock it over if you have to.

It WILL get better, it's just that part of your mind hates you and you don't have much practice doing other things besides using yet. It's been three years, and TRUST ME, the day will come when you wouldn't trade your worst day sober for your best day stoned out of your mind, because you KNOW you always have to pay for it later!

May like Dr. Amen's Change your Brain, Change your life, book about SPECT scans and alcoholism.

Anonymous
can't stop

you already have stopped. we are all weak and need each other. my sponsor
dared me to be a burden,make mistakes and do what i didn't want to do--which was everything. Because i am weak, i am sober 42 years. i need you

Anonymous
RE: can't stop

Try to let go and let God if you can't rely on God find an outside sponsor a parole officer may help you for a while when all else fails come on back and try A.A. next time and if God runs you out sponsors are known to blame God for it too.

Anonymous
jonny

send you my prayers and love. remember we are all weak. we need each other.
to know you are weak will be your strength. i am sober 42 years and it
i still resist going to meetings which saved my life. i pray for willingness to do
what i don't want to do. i have learned to shake hans with my humanity--i
am weak-i am human. i will always be. love you. we are here for you.

Anonymous
Jonny My prayers our with

Jonny
My prayers our with you.

Anonymous
You say, "can't stop need

You say, "can't stop need help too weak two days trying for three." But you did stop for two days ONE DAY AT A TIME. Well done friend, trying for three, you say, that is wonderful

Thanks for very encouraging sharing.

Chipdip
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Joined: 2012-08-11
Turn it over to God

Turn it over to God

AD010416
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Joined: 2012-01-18
Re: "Don't think, don't drink, and get to a meeting!"

Don't think? I have yet to meet a living human being who can actually not think, at least while awake.
Don't drink? How many times have alcoholics been told, "don't drink" by non-alcoholics. If we were able to "don't drink" we wouldn't need AA.
Get to a meeting? Well, at least it will keep you off the streets and out of the bars for an hour or so.

Anonymous
Get to a meeting

AA meetings do "get you off the streets and out of the bars for an hour or so."
Exactly. And that is a huge piece of the wisdom that is AA. A better place to be. A better choice than self destruction.

You become one with the crowd.
You forge common goals.
You are not alone.
You have courage.

And all the time you have been creating these better experiences, you are not drinking.
A equals B equals C.

redsky
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Joined: 2012-01-21
sponsership

should you approach a newcomer to offer your self to be their sponsor or should you always wait for them to ask you

JamesX
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Joined: 2013-05-13
What? You have the solution.

What? You have the solution. Most likely they don't know they have a problem or there in denial about having a problem. You are armed with some facts about yourself. Just ask them can you tell them your story. You.can gain there confindence when know one.else can.

Anonymous
sponsorship

How about "You want to go out for coffee after the meeting? I'm buying".

I think it comes under the heading "If you want what we have and are willing..."

The newcomer can't develop much of a sense of "What we have until he (she)spends some time with us.

My 2 cents.

pcm54
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Joined: 2013-12-02
How true!!

There are only three women in the program where I live. Actually, I have to travel five hours to a meeting in their city. They all have told me not to get lonely. So, I ask each one of them (I am the newcomer) to go for coffee and they are all too busy. They don't have time to meet me at a meeting. When I ask them about it, they just tell me I am too self-centered and lonely....sigh. Thank goodness for forums like this and the male German tourists who are willing to have meetings in my hometown!

Anonymous
Success

Success and failure are always temporary!

Anonymous
SUCCESS.

The only place where SUCCESS comes before WORK is in the DICTIONARY!!!

Anonymous
We share our experience

Have been chairing a “As Bill sees it” meeting for a while. A few times I took someone quietly aside after the meeting and tried to explain the difference in sharing our experience from analysis, advice and other material found on the ground behind male cows. I finally printed out cards with the following information and left one with each book around the table. I can’t duplicate the format here but the word experience is BOLD and the quotes that aren’t experience are strikethrough.

After the meeting I offered one of the worst offenders a copy to take home and he smiled and showed one already in his shirt pocket. I’m sure an intelligent man, a retired air force officer but he just didn’t understand “sharing experience” until it was spelled out. I’ve made hundreds of such mistakes myself. A big part of AA, explaining a few simple ideas in enough ways so we all finally “get it”. If you have chronic advice-givers or over-thinkers in your group feel free to copy this and pass out some bookmarks.

__________________________________________________________
We share our experience –

“What I think…..” Your thinking
“I think what we do……” Your analysis
“I think what people should do…” Your advice
“What I should do…” Your uncommitted speculation
“What they told me…” Who knows?
“What I do is….” Your experience
“What I have done…” Your experience
“When … happens, I feel….” Your experience
“What I read in the Big Book….” Our recorded experience
__________________________________________________________

Anonymous
Reading your mind

I told my counsellor that I could read people's minds. SHE SAID, "YOU ARE SITTING IN A ROOM WITH ANOTHER PERSON. YOU ARE BOTH SILENT. YOU SAY THAT YOU CAN READ THEIR THOUGHTS! I REPLIED, "YES. I CAN." SHE SMILED AND REPLIED, "WHEN YOU ARE IN THIS SITUATION, THE ONLY MIND YOU HAVE ACCESS TO IS YOUR MIND AND YOUR THINKING!!!"

THEN YOU MAKE A NECKLACE OF YOUR OWN THOUGHTS AND MENTALLY HANG IT AROUND THEIR NECK!!! AND SAY THAT THEY ARE THINKING THOSE THOUGHTS!!!"

I THINK THAT THIS WAS A LIGHT BUB MOMENT FOR ME, I REMIND MYSELF OF THAT MANY TIMES EACH 24 HOUR PERIOD. COME TO THINK OF IT, IF WE COULD READ EACH OTHER'S MINDS, WHAT NEED WOULD THERE BE OF HUMAN LANGUAGE?

gunnre
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Joined: 2012-07-22
reading your mind

Awesome.... My wife and I had a nice little discussion of this last night. 31 yrs of marriage we have been 'reading each other's minds' a lot lately. Assuming we know each others thoughts, intentions, reactions. Truly errodes the peace of mind. Thank you. Seeing this over my morning coffee/quiet time must be my topic for prayer and change today :)

Anonymous
The wreckage of...

A sponsor advised me,"FOR GOD SAKE STOP RIGHT NOW THIS VERY MINUTE, TRYING TO CLEAR AWAY THE WRECKAGE OF YOUR FUTURE!!!"

That is still good counsel!

gunnre
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Joined: 2012-07-22
reading your mind

Awesome.... My wife and I had a nice little discussion of this last night. 31 yrs of marriage we have been 'reading each other's minds' a lot lately. Assuming we know each others thoughts, intentions, reactions. Truly errodes the peace of mind. Thank you. Seeing this over my morning coffee/quiet time must be my topic for prayer and change today :)

Anonymous
Big Book Study

This was read at the beginning of a Big Book Study:

Searching for Humility in a Big Book Study
401 AA Group – Saint Joseph, Missouri
April 4, 2013

We come together every Thursday at 5:30 for a Big Book Study. There is a reason we do this study. There are people who are called Big Book Thumpers. The term is often used in a derogatory manner, suggesting that the Big Book Thumper is a rigid person who only accepts their interpretation of the Big Book. Most of us know someone like that. Our purpose in this Big Book Study is to read a couple of pages from the Big Book and to collectively search for the wisdom. We are here to hear what others think. Our purpose is not to convince others that our interpretation is the only true interpretation – our purpose is to learn from others.

I ask myself, are we communicating and learning – or are we just taking turns talking. We have an opportunity to learn, to understand, to grow in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. The authority of AA does not rest in the wisdom of a few old timers – the authority of AA rests in the Big Book. We hear people say, “I once heard an old-timer say…” as if that qualification makes the statement an absolute truth. We sometimes hear people say, “I have 20 years sober and I say…” as if their sober time affirms their wisdom. Sometimes we hear people say, “Well, I was always told…” as if having been told something makes it wise and true. People with many years of recovery possess their own unique wisdom – but the true wisdom is collective – it is the voice of many, not of one. The wisdom and authority of AA resides in the Big Book.

Each of us comes to this table with a bias. Each of us has a preconceived idea about what the central message of AA really is. That bias, or preconceived idea, is the wall that prevents more learning. We cannot learn and grow if we listen only for the words that affirm what we already know. The purpose of a Big Book Study is to put aside our own ideas and to listen closely to others.

Every time we read this book together something new is revealed – but only if we are open to listening and learning. We only learn from others when others share their insight into the reading. There is an old adage: When you know you know that is when you don’t know.” We have learned to laugh again, but AA is a serious program for serious people. None of us is here to show off our wisdom – we are here to remain humble as we search for the true wisdom of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Remember, God liked his first AA Meeting so much He has not missed one since.

Anonymous
Big Book Study.

Great sharing from you on this topic. I go to a Big Book Study here in Glasgow in Rose St. every Saturday morning at 10.00 am.

We go from page one until the end of a VISION FOR YOU. We study and share on one or two paragraphs at the time.

It is an excellent study group for me.

Good luck to you all.

Anonymous
bi book study

thank you. i am sober 42 years. i need to hear what you said--so i can learn to listen again and lose my big shotism.

Anonymous
Humility...

I heard that the English word HUMILITY is from the Latin word HUMUS, which means the GROUND!!!

Anonymous
RE Big Meeting

I believe that God is present at every meeting, He
sits at the head table. I don't have to point to Him and
say: That One is God! May you find Him NOW. Let God be God
and do His own work in His own way. He is worthy and capable. ANONYMOUS

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