February Articles Online
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Say No To Nothing
A German 'recluse' bursts out of her shell at ICYPAA 51
As I entered the hotel lobby,
I looked up at the massive 60 floors and thought,
Wow, I wonder if I'll ever
run into a drunk who could
tell me where I can find a
meeting. I set down my bags, went
out for a smoke, and was kidnapped
by ICYPAA old-timers. I got back
about 13 hours later with two other
AAs who crashed in my bed. After
two hours of sleep, I jumped out of
bed and yearned for more. That was
two days before the conference actually started. I was completely unaware that even with jet-lag, I would
total six hours of sleep in five days,
and that a day later the hotel would
be shut down by ICYPAA's massive
crowd. There were countless people
walking up to the hotel to look inside and say, "What's going on in
there, can we come in?"
I have truly been rocketed into
a fourth dimension I never knew
existed. I always believed I would
experience the Promises in my life,
but I never expected them to all be
thrown at me over one short week-
end. I stood in the meeting room
with 3,500 drunks under the age of
30, and I had chills running down
my spine and tears in my eyes. Little
did I know this was the mere beginningÑthe pre-conference speaker.
I stood on my chair and danced to
Bob Marley. After all, this was why
I came; however, I was feeling very
uncomfortable and uncool.
Then, in a brief moment of silence, I realized we were doubled
in size because with each one of
us young people stood our Higher
Power. The spirituality in the room
could have knocked me over. I took
a second to recompose myself, then
I leaned over to my new friend, with
his green, red and yellow mohawk,
and said, "This is it." He smiled and
looked down at me and just said,
"Yeah, ha-ha, awesome, right?" I
knew at that moment I had found
that feeling I had chased since my
first drink: total acceptance, absolute
love and a freedom to act stupid.
The first bit of advice I received was very useful. I was riding through Atlanta in the back of a
pickup truck, and the "old-timers,"
who had been to at least three ICYPAAs before, said, "say no to nothing, do it all, and sleep as little as
possible." My instant thought was,
Yeah right. I am a recluse now that
I am sober. I am not the party girl
I once was. There is no way in hell
I could stay up late or let my hair
down in front of all these people.
But before I knew it, I was on
the stage at a nightclub full of sober people, raving with the D.J. I
stopped and thought, Can this be
right? Can this be spiritual? Can
sobriety be so much fun? I asked
God for an intuitive thought or decision, only to be thrown back into
reality by a song that said, "shut up
and dance." At that moment I was
released from the bondage of self. I
knew, at that moment, I had found
my place in this world.
I made friends from all over the
U.s., Canada, Jamaica, England and
Tokyo. They nicknamed me "Germany" and I quite liked it. Hell, it
beat my old nicknames of "shakie,"
"pukie" or "nakie."
At the beginning of each meeting, the speaker would introduce
him or herself, "Hi, I am ___ and I
am an alcoholic," and then the thousands of young people would return
with, "Hi, ___, we love you, ___, lots
and lots and lots and WHOOOOOLE
BUNCHEs! Whooo!" (This was ac-
companied by a group pelvic thrust
toward the speaker which seemed to
get bigger later in the weekend). And
in "How it Works," when the line,
"What an order! I can't go through
with it," was read, everyone would
yell, "B_______t!"
That is the attitude I left with.
If you think you can't enjoy life in
sobriety, "B_______t!" There was so
much power, gratitude and inspira-
tion in Atlanta that I can never imagine having the desire to drink return
to me, and, God willing, it will not.
But if it does, I am so grateful to have
AA, young or old, to turn to.
We are the next generation of
old-timers, the future of this Fellowship. We, young people in AA around
the world, are on fire with recovery.
Carly B.
Stuttgart, Germany
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