From the February 1945 magazine.

Letters to the Grapevine. . .

Dear Grapevine: As is true with all of us, alcoholic and non-alcoholic alike, when we honestly face ourselves we find many instances of our own shortcomings, and of our own faulty handling of our problems, which has made them grow like veritable Frankensteins to our own undoing. Whether we like it or not, therefore, each wife, I feel, must face the fact that she had no little share in the development of her husband's alcoholic problem, whether it was in coddling, the holding of resentment, lack of understanding, wearing the cloak of martyrdom, or whatever the form. Realization of her part in the problem is for some wives the first step forward, and can play a large part in the ultimate outcome. Hence I feel she should have a share in the working out of the problem, and should not be shut out from any of the joys which go hand in hand with A.A. growth.

I'd like especially, therefore, to address my remarks to the husband who wrote some time ago that his wife is "jealous of A.A." My observation of A.A. has been that the men who do the best job and get the most out of the group, and consequently out of life, are the men whose wives are as interested as they--who try sincerely and conscientiously to find out and to understand what it is all about, and then take it unto themselves.

-- A.A. Wife

Montclair, New Jersey

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