From the November 1944 magazine.

How It Feels to Make One's First Beginnings in A. A.

The First Realization. . .

Harry I. of the New York A.A. is up here at the farm. Seeing he is here for two days, I am pumping him for all I can get out of him on A.A. He has opened my eyes to a lot I never knew. You would be surprised how I have gotten over resentments of family and life in general. I now look at their side of a resentment instead of mine. In doing so it lifts a great load off my chest and makes me see life more clearly. This being sorry for oneself is one of the ways to sap up your normal outlook. To think straight today means that tomorrow with all the other tomorrows will take care of itself. This is a great foundation for thinking clearly. I never should have left T --Hospital without coming up here. I did not know of this place until too late. Plus my nerves being all raw--plus I was trying to fight this thing out by myself, which you can't do alone.

I regret I messed up so much in the last few years paying no attention to A.A. when A.A. could have made my life so simple to face instead of all the hell I have caused people and myself. I realize that it will take me a long time to get the whole program--but with what I have gotten in common sense from Sister and about A.A. from Harry, along with talking to people up here about their problems and resentments, I will come out knowing myself better, and so face life with a more open mind and have an eye to judge myself. I realize now what the trouble with me has been. I have wanted happiness and refused to work for it. I have held grudges and resentments that have warped my mind. I have not been tolerant and fair to others and through your program I have begun to see life as it should be, not as the way I have looked at it.

-- Joe

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