When I Reach 30, I'll Change!
THAT'S WHAT THE MAN SAID
WHEN I reach the age of 30 I'm going: to stop all this nonsense.
Toying with my bourbon-and-beer boilermaker as the tavern juke box blared wildly in the background, I frequently made that promise to myself.
The big change, I decided, would come about when I hit that age, And I made grand plans for the change.
I wouldn't stop drinking. Of course not. That wouldn't be necessary. But I would change my drinking ways. I'd drink very properly, intelligently, like a man, never to excess. I'd be real charming, much sought after, in my drinking.
And I wouldn't let liquor...
-- R. H.
Los Angeles, California