From the March 1976 magazine.
13 Suggested Steps for Staying Drunk
- Never drink before noon if you won't wake up until 11:59 AM.
- Never eat on an empty stomach; have only two or three drinks before meals, including breakfast.
- Learn to count: "One, two, three, four, two-or-three, two-or-three, two-or-three. . .,"
- Buy two pints at a time; only alcoholics buy their booze by the quart.
- If straight liquor is messing you up, switch to mixed drinks (shots and beers); if it is the hard stuff that's doing it to you, stick with wine and beer (glasses of wine with beer chasers).
- Drink only for medicinal...
Cooperstown, New York