From the April 1983 magazine.

Sicker Than Others?

We all do what we have to do

I CAME INTO AA seven years ago, after drinking for fifteen years. Thoughts of drinking were my constant companion for nine months. When I passed liquor stores, I drooled. When I walked, I staggered. When I drove, the car would weave and bob. I told my sponsor one day that I couldn't take it any longer, that I was going to drink because my socks didn't match. I went to my home group meeting and told them that AA didn't work, because I was still acting like a drunk without drinking. I was told that I had to work the Steps.

Today, I work one or all of them every day. The longer I'm sober, the harder it is for me to identify with new people who do not have to make phone calls, who do not have to talk at meetings, who have to be told what they want to hear. It's difficult to identify with those who insist that smoking is far more grave than alcohol; who insist that if they could straighten out some personal problem, they'd feel better; who do not have to pray; and who can keep resentments for six months to four years, when I was told ten minutes was my limit.

-- C. M.

Bridgeport, Connecticut

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