With Me In Spirit

My father died of alcoholism. Not a very unique statement from an adult child of two alcoholics, but this man, my father, was a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, He had fifteen years sobriety at one point and after a slip went five more until this year, when he took that first drink. He died three months later. Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful. I've gone over and over it in my mind, trying to justify or figure out why someone with so much sobriety would take that first drink. And I'm an alcoholic myself. I'm the one out of five children who's supposed to understand alcoholism and it still baffles me. It's even angered me at times--I chose not to drink for today, why couldn't he?