From the August 1989 magazine.

You Mean You're Still Married?

Staying married and staying sober. Sometimes it seems impossible to do both at the same time. In the AA circles I travel, there seem to be a lot more people, men and women, no longer married to the spouses they were with when they finally hit bottom. I understand why. In my early sobriety, Ella and I fought more than when I was drinking. Or perhaps I just remembered every word without my booze to ease the misery. It seemed to me that living with Ella when I was drinking had been hell, but trying to live with her and trying to learn to stay sober was double hell--with no pain killer.

I was trying to follow a program and live one day at a time. But every time I did one little thing wrong, she would drag out all the past and hit me with it. She was going to some Al-Anon meetings, but did not seem to be getting the program. All she seemed to be learning was how to tell me how to work my program. I was sure if she would only listen to me, I could straighten out her program.

-- J. P.


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