From the April 1991 magazine.

A Candle of Hope

Healing comes in many forms. This is written as a part of my healing, in the hope that it may help someone else.

My search (in drinking and sobriety) has been for a belief in something beyond the tangible--a spirit of oneness with others--a Higher Power, I suppose. This search has taken many diverse routes--college, seminary, graduate school, Christianity, existentialism, atheism, agnosticism, and finally alcoholism. I came to AA about eight-and-a-half years ago, a scared, bitter, angry, hurt woman, carrying the scars of alcoholism. I could not talk, so I listened. I felt pretty hopeless. Thoughts of suicide had often been my companions during the drinking days, and just not drinking did not change that very much. But I came to meetings, I sat, and I listened. I heard of a God in which I did not believe. I heard from some that I needed their God or I would get drunk. I did not get drunk and I did not believe in their God. I still knew the sense of despair of an alcoholic hitting bottom but I still did not believe.

-- Anonymous

Cleveland, Ohio

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