From the November 1995 magazine.

From Cyber to Sober

I was one of those who was going to read and write themselves sober; I even had a fancy computer to help do the job. It would be easy since I wasn't really an alcoholic. I didn't drink from brown paper bags nor did I fall down a lot. Okay, I did lose my balance once or twice, and I sort of hid my flask in one of those card-shop flowery bags. Nothing serious enough, though, to actually go to those AA meetings.

So I would read behavioral modification self-help books and create spread sheets illustrating how I was going to handle things in the future. Problem was I had become a blackout drinker and couldn't retain anything from one day to the next. It was even more frightening when I would run across one of these long rambling outlines for changing my life hidden someplace weird, like the crisper drawer of the refrigerator. These ramblings usually started out "you won't remember writing this because you're having a blackout . . ." I still shudder when I recall how out of control I had become.

-- Joyce C.

Summerfield, Florida

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