From the May 1998 magazine.

A 3-way Hug

This AA was able to reconcile long-buried resentments toward family members who had died.

Sometimes when I'm asked to speak at meetings I speak about "false acceptance," which I define as the conviction that I've come to terms with something I think I can't change, only to discover later, often painfully, that change was needed and I had lacked the courage to face it.

One of my early sponsors, Bill, warned me against this easier, softer approach and told me how he tried to make the distinction between acceptance and change. As a contributor to the AA volume Came to Believe, he said that "the last line of the Serenity Prayer contains the clinker--the wisdom to know the difference between soluble and insoluble situations. As one who is most suspicious of his wisdom (since sobering up, anyway) I find that substituting the word 'honesty' for 'wisdom' often furnishes the clue to the answer I'm seeking."

-- Owen C.

Rochester, New York

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